behavioral issues

[btha1977]

My son is 12yrs old in the 7th grade he has been getting F's since elementry school...he acts out in class teachers send him to the deans on a weekly basis...but at home he is the most helpful person. And listens to me all the time..what can I do? I already punish him take any and everything away that can be fun for him I talk to him...im realy frustrated and hurt by his behavior at school.

[barbie1637]

My now 19 yr old child was just like that.He was failing everything,and staying in trouble .When he was 5 yr old they sent him to be evaluated.He had ADD.Now he was good at home.I also did not want my child on meds.No parent does,really.But after he failed 2 grades.I could not just sit back and do nothing.As you said,you cant take every fun thing from him,and you cant spank him everyday..You have to do something.I finally let the DR put him on meds.Riddlen.He done good .He made honor roll every semester.I made sure I took him to all Dr appts,so the Dr could keep a eye on him and I didn't give him the meds when he was at home.I did try taking him off of it after about 2 yrs and once again he started failing,so I had to put him back on it till he was about 15.Now he is 19 yrs old,he graduated from high school,and is a Marine.So I am glad I did what needed to be done to help my child,even though I didn't want to .It is scary to have to put your child on meds.But he would have ended up flunking out if I didn't do something,.

[tejodouro]

Just because he is evaluated does not mean that he needs medication.  You need to know why he is getting Fs. You and the school can help him without medication.  He might have a learning disability other than ADD.  Even if he has ADD and you do not want to medicate him, there accomodations that the school needs to provide to him.  So, make sure that you understand your rights and get him evaluated.  The sooner you get him the help that he needs the more productive he is going to be as an adult.  The school could sit him in the front of the classroom and next to some other student that can help him.  He can also be pulled out from the classroom during the day to get one on one help in the Resource Room.  If he is such a nice kid, it seems a shame that he can not do well at school.  Maybe he really wants to do well and that is why he is acting out at school.  You need to be his advocate and get the school district to do their job which is to educate him and not let him get Fs. There are also wonderful private schools with low student to teacher ratio for kids with learning disabilities, if you can afford them.  He is acting out because he probably actually wants to learn and do well. Please google IDEA and IEP to understand all the help that is out there for him.  There are great sites that tell you what to do.  Good luck.

[btha1977]

ummm no I don't think so but I don't want him on any medications

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Has he ever been evaluated in the school system? If so, what were the results of the evaluation? If he has not been evaluated, you should request such an evaluation. Every state has procedures to govern such evaluations per federal law (the I.D.E.A. legislation).