behavior?sleeping?

[dadandaughter]

Hi my daughter is alomost 2 and has started temper-tantrems and not taking naps or going to sleep at night.  It has started since we have brought home our new son.  Is it because of our new addition or because of her age?  Or both?  We have been very deligent about her routine with bath, book, and bedtime.  We have always rocked her to sleep, but I feel we should stop and take her straight to bed.  My wife feels we should not and console her because  of our new son.  Any advice would be great.  Thank you.

[specialmom]

Hm,  I think if I were to want to change a routine like rocking at bedtime, I would have done that prior to bringing the new baby home.  Since you didn't, I think it is a little much to give this up now.  It is highly likely she will regress a little bit, after all, her world just changed dramatically.  It will be an awesome change when it is all said and done, but right now it is new and her immature 2 year old mind isn't sure about all of this.  Are you having an awesome time with the new baby while I sleep?, she might think.  

She is also not yet 2.  They change moment to moment as to what to expect behaviorally.  That is very normal.  Still try to keep her routine as it was pre baby with a little extra attention.  

I have two boys, 15 months apart.  When I brought the new baby home----  I made it a big deal to tell the baby "now you'll have to wait a minute as I have to take care of Luke now!!"  (when in reality, the baby could care less as he was half drunk from breast milk anyway!)  But this big show let my son know that he was important too and the baby had to wait sometimes for  him too.  I also had some special books and little toys that I got out when I nursed (or fed a bottle to, whichever you are doing)----  that is a time when little ones feel left out and envy that baby.  So I tried to distract with something else at that time to take his mind off of that I was holding and cuddling some other baby.  You have to think of how this whole thing looks to her and makes her feel.  She's sharing now---- and 2 year olds aren't good sharers.  And she is sharing mommy and daddy!!!  Her most prized possessions.  
I will tell you as a mother that has lived through those years with two very young children close together in age---- they are now 4 and 5--- and most of the time, are good buddies.
Good luck!!!

[Diva2317]

I wouldn't make her give up being rocked to sleep, it would probably make the problem worse. My daughter is almost 3 and I still rock her to sleep. I don't see a problem with it if it helps her be comforted. The world is a hard enough place to live in without these small allowances.

Have you tried explaining the situation to her? Like telling her that she is a big sister now, but that doesn't mean that she isn't important. Mommy and daddy still love her very much. Even when children don't know how to talk very much they understand a lot of what is said to them. more than we realize.

I'd also try taking time for just you and her. Take her to get ice cream or some new clothes. I'm the oldest of 5 children so I know what it's like for mommy and daddy to bring home siblings (over and over and over..)

[dadandaughter]

Thank you very much for the advice.  She is so awsome, but yet again she is taking it very hard.  I still rock her to sleep, but she is not sleeping as heavy as she used to.  Wakes up easily, and we have to stay next to her bed until she falls into a deep sleep which has taken 1- 2 hrs!  I think your right.  She needs some extra attention.  I think dad is going to take her to get some Ice Cream when she wakes up from her nap.  Thanks again, and if you have any other advice is great!

[91004]

Try including her in helping with the new baby my son was two when we brought his brother home. Jealousy plays a big role, they aren't the only ones getting the attention anymore. Let her feed the baby, or ask if she wants to hold the baby of course with you all right beside her. My oldest would sit in the crib while I change the youngest and get wipes and hold the diaber and hand it to me. Have a just mommy time or just daddy time, get a babysitter and both take her out to a movie or something she likes to do. Also she is in the terrible two's so the tantrums are normal. Even though she mite be jealous you still need to show her she can't throw fits. The sleeping mite be the baby waking her also.