bowel movement resistance

My 5 year old son is somewhat resistant to bowel movements. It's a relatively recent occurence. In the past year and a half I have noticed him resisting going when he was occupied with more interesting activities. This I interpreted as normal. But my concern began with the start of the school year and he was coming home a couple of times a week with a big skid mark or even little terds in his underpants (obvious signs of trying to hold it back). I felt that I have been too helpful in cleaning him up and therefore he only wanted to have BMs at home. So I stopped helping him, and just oversaw it. My thought was once he felt confident about wiping up he would feel comfortable at school. However, I was quite alarmed when he came home this week, immediately rushed upstairs to change, and didn't want me to know what was going on. Of course I knew what it would be about, but I was shocked when I found he hid the little terds in his pants pocket. Then I knew I should seek advice. I admit giving him a talking to about smelling bad and being big enough to wipe himself, but I fear making it a stress issue for him. What should I do next? Just be patient and continue the course? Or is there a bigger issue looming?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

I imagine what you are witnessing is a reluctance on his part to use the restroom at school. Talk about this with him, and also check in with his teacher. Many children go through this phase and need a patient, supportive approach from parents and teachers.