changes

my four year old son has recently undergone a lot of changes; I recently remarried, we and his two boys;(eight and four) all moved in together. My son has been acting very strange. cronic (chronic) crying, being very clingy to me, not wanting to play with any one or any thing, bed wetting, and night terrors. this is so out of pocket for him to behave like this. He is a very playfull happy kid now nothing seems to help make him happy. I have tried to ignore the problem , I have tried to be all lovey dovey with him, babing him so to speak, and tried to get on to him for his uncalled outburst of tears. nothing seems to be working what should I do?  jenny

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It is important to keep in mind that your son's world has been turned upside down. Imagine how all this change must feel to him. Whenever young children experience significant change in their daily circumstances or environment, they are likely to regress somewhat and may even become a bit disorganized, impulsive, etc. So your son's reaction is an understandable, even normal, adjustment to a difficult situation. Be very patient and understanding toward him, all the while continuing whatever structures (routines, limits)  you typically have in place in the home. Over time he will adapt to the new family structure, but this takes time and it's critical that you have realistic expectations and not expect him to be acting in a happy way about the changes he has undergone.