child afraid

my  9 year old daughter say dosnt like her room , is very nice room. She wont sleep in there at all and my wife helps to get are 3 year old asllep in her own bed and does fine, the 9 year old will sleep with me ,but when try talk to her about lets try tonight see just breaks down sometimes frantically and i start to get upset cause cant understand whats going on with her and turns into war then see wants only her mother, this causing severe problems betwwen my wife and me , and overall house, do we need clid psychiatrist

[margypops]

You are sending her mixed messages, you say she sleeps with you then you want her to sleep in her own bed, its isnt her its you, so here what should work if you are consistant...No discussion with her about it, you tell her that from now on she will be sleeping in her own room, each night she goes to her room you can read to her or let her read herself, if she yells.. its okay let her, no yelling back, less words, if she comes out saying she cannot sleep, send her back, over and over if you have to. Be consistant in this and she will realsie you are in control and she will give up it will only take a few days unless you give way then you are back to square one ....Good Luck