child anxiety

[outback_goddess]

Hi i have a 5 year old who about 6 months ago was a happy confident child one day one of his friends from mums group joined his pre school and he had a lot going on at home and bullied my son. I dealt with it quickly and had the boys seperated and it soon resolved itself however ever since almost every morning i have a real battle to get him to go to pre school always in tears i have tried so many different things to make it better but i feel i'm only making it worse i do find once i'm gone within 5 mins he's happy and fine.

At the moment it's got to the stage where he wont go to bed until well past 11pm because he's scared (he doesnt cry just say's he's scared) i try and talk with him and get him to sleep but like always he passes out because he's to tired.
he now doesnt want to go to friends places unless i stay and now i'm worried about him starting big boy school in less than two weeks

what can i do to turn him back into the confident sociable child i once had and what can i do to not add to the problem

[benjimom]

I'm sorry this happened and glad you found out quickly.  Maybe now he has anxiety at school and he has some separation anxiety. I would give it time and see if the drop offs to school get better.  hope so.    YOu might want to ask your doctor about this, esp if he is having severe anxiety about leaving the home.

[outback_goddess]

thanks for the ideas just one thing it has been ages since the bulling thing happen and it has been months since it was brought up at the time it was a hot topic but now it is long gone. Im just concerned about taking him to friends places or school as he has a huge melt down because i'm leaving him there i dont think it's fair on others to have to deal with it even if it does last only 5 10 mins ( i'm also worried the parents will think i;m to hard on him) at the moment he doesnt want to leave the house his friends are welcome here and he's happy o play as long as it at our house. But to go do basic taskes (ie grocery shopping ect)
its a huge battle one i dig my heels in and make him do everyday i just want to change his way of thinking and get him back to wanting him to do stuff instead of my having to drag him kicking and screaming

[jdtm]

I agree with the first reply - margypops.  Just the song (which I have paraphrased a bit - what we need here is a little less talk and a lot more action.  All the best ...

[margypops]

It is possible that he has received a lot of attention from the issue you and he had over the bullying, lots of talk and plenty of sympathy.Maybe its time to let it all go, no more talk be a bit firm with him , bed should be before 11pm, thats your choice not his remember ,read him some books at 9pm then ignore any talk of being scared .leave a side light on if he wants it on.Moving on means behaving normally so in my opinion its best that you use distraction ,get him involved in sports, games, get his Dad doing some guy stuff with him.Time will be the healer .good luck