child moslested my child

A neighborhood child (6) and his brother (10) were playing with my son (10) and the six year old pulled my son's pants down and put his mouth on my son's penis. My son kept telling him to stop while pulling the pants down and yelled at him to stop when he put his mouth on him. This happened a few weeks ago but I am only finding out about it tonight.  I have asked my son several times what happened and his stopry remains the same. I asked the little boy and his brother what happened and all I get is "nothing" or very little but the story changed several times over a few minutes times.  What do you I do? My husband and I went to discuss this with the child's father but he did not seem that shocked.  The boys' daddy said he would take care of it and they would not be leaving the house for a long time and to please tell my son that he and is wife are not upset with our son.  I am so confussed, hurt, angry, upset and disgusted.  HELP please if you have answers or comments

[DustyL]

CALL THE POLICE!!!!!! (at the very least the kids would get some help) Plus keep in mind, there might be something going on thats a little deeper than you would like to think. The father not being concerned with his children's behavior is VERY alarming to me and gives me a reason to believe there is more to the story!!!! As far as your child.... SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP for him like yesterday!!!! Don't let him live with the pain of that for ever! He needs to talk with someone, 3rd party un bias, so he will know it's not his fault. It's more important that you counsel your son then report it to the athorities. However, I help but think that if they've done this to your son, how many other neighborhood kids have suffered as well?? What are they forced to suffer in there own home?? They learned that behavior from somewhere and it's important that someone find out where and put a stop to it, before there's another sexual preditior in the world!!!!! Good Luck to you and just as a resurrance your in my prayers!!!!

[Tina A.]

I agree with DustyL, especially with the father's reaction and to call the police immediately.  With that type of reaction the father had I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't the one teaching them and/or molesting his own children.  They need to be removed from that house immediately.

[momneedsanswers]

my son is doing well. He is still an active part of our family and plays with friends.  This happend abou 5 weeks ago from what we can piece together.  He is  full of shame when we talk about it and knows it was wrong. He did tell a friend of his about it and said he didn't like what the child did and also that it felt weird. He is open with us but doesn't want to keep talking about it.  We have a problem with social services in our county.  They are very very bad. They go after people that have done nothing wrong and they spend thousands in court getting a judge to tell them to back off and leave them alone and to have thier names cleared.  Then when it is something that really happens they seem to do nothing.  It is a bad situation.  As far as reporting it to the police.  I did....I reported it to the boys father.  He is the police.  Bad isn't it.  We are very concerned for this boy and his brother. it is not normal at all for them to know these things and for the father to just not seem that alarmed.  I am confused over this and will never let these boys around my house at all.

[RockRose]

mom - it's kind of a concern,  isn't it,  that your boy feels ashamed?    I think if he told you about it,  and then told a friend it felt weird,  that's time to hug him and say don't think about this again,  good job for telling.  It seems like a healthy reaction on his part to stop wanting to talk about it.

I think as a parent this is more upsetting to you than it is to him,  if this is a one time thing that is now over.  I'm sure you are worried that it will have long term affects but it seems like he's handling it very maturely,  and this will pass.

Best wishes.  

[momneedsanswers]

Thank you rockrose and everyone. It is very upseting to us, the parents. I wish he never had it happen to him. i wish the other boys did not know anything about stuff like this.

[RockRose]

I know,  mom,  this is really painful.  It hurts to read your posts.

I just keep thinking if you try to let this pass and tell him what a courageous smart boy he was for telling,  and then let it pass,  that's for the best.

But I'm still sure it haunts you.  

Best wishes.

[cutiegirl]

I hope this doesn't sound rude, but have you considered that maybe your son made it all up? Or that because he was so ashamed, he left the parts he was involved in out, and that maybe it was consensual? NO OFFENCE MEANT.

[karinav3]

Wow why would you even say something like that?? have you ever been molested?? it doesn't matter what age group they are in...  I was molested at 5 yrs old he was 10 yrs old.. and I never even thought about making stuff up that way... first of all what would he get out of making stuff up.. She knows her child and obviously if she thought he made it up she wouldn't be writing about it here.

[boosty]

honey, you should take this further. maybe youre thinking my son is fine now, but it could do some damage to him later on. and when i read your story, the first thing i thought was that those kids are being molested. talk to the police and ask them what you should do. maybe child services so that they can investigate. many parents might disagree with me with this but i would teach my son that NOONE is allowed near his privates and if they force it , push them or something to keep them away to stand up for himself. only in a situation like that though. i would report it.

[greendog26]

CALL THE POLICE!!!!!! (at the very least the kids would get some help) Plus keep in mind, there might be something going on thats a little deeper than you would like to think. The father not being concerned with his children's behavior is VERY alarming to me and gives me a reason to believe there is more to the story!!!! As far as your child.... SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP for him like yesterday!!!! Don't let him live with the pain of that for ever! He needs to talk with someone, 3rd party un bias, so he will know it's not his fault. It's more important that you counsel your son then report it to the athorities. However, I help but think that if they've done this to your son, how many other neighborhood kids have suffered as well?? What are they forced to suffer in there own home?? They learned that behavior from somewhere and it's important that someone find out where and put a stop to it, before there's another sexual preditior in the world!!!!! Good Luck to you and just as a resurrance your in my prayers!!!!

[greendog26]

YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. WHY WOULD HER SON MAKE THIS UP IF HE IS THAT SCARED. IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT SHOULD NEVER BE PARENTS.

[whenua]

A colleague of mine recently had a similar situation happen to her 4 year old son at childcare. The other child was also only 4. Yes kids have sexual play etc, but there are certain acts that are learned be it through watching parents, porn or having it done to them. While i appreciate your reluctance to get outside agencies involved, what if these other children are being abused? isnt it better to have it looked into and to find out all is ok, rather than do nothing. You also dont want your son to feel really uncomfortable about the situation. Sounds like you are able to talk easily with him and yeah, dont push it with him but let him know that if he wants to talk about it he can. all the best

[luvmyravens]

First as a Mom to another, I want to say I am so sorry your son had to go through this. But honey you have got to call Social Services, I know they suck, trust me, I don't know what these workers are doing during the day, it sure ain't what their supposed to do, but don't stop please!! keep making those calls to some sort of authority, My heart breaks so bad for these 2 boys, my god what are they seeing? what is happening to them? I am really bothered by this, I live in Baltimore, MD, and here we have a hotline for Sexual Child Abuse, if you suspect it, check and see if your area has it. Also, get your son some help, before its too late, take it from me, even though we didnt do anything wrong, growing up, it hurts. Best of luck to you!!!!

[Tia Lucila]

Get social services involved.

[momma-of-3g1b]

I am really sorry your family is having to go through this, and glad to hear your son is doing good right now.

I think what happened needs to be reported. For the simple fact that, It shouldnt have to happen to any other child.

The boys who did this need help themselves, with just the father knowing they did it, who knows what he has done with this information, did he get them help? I doubt. This way the social services,child protection can be there and help the future health of these boys.

I wish you and your family my best

[dissydean]

Sexual actions by childrenare very difficult to deal with because of the laws presently on the books
  example I recently saw in tv a case where the school principal called the police and had two boys arrested for a sexual act.. They were placed in jail and were there for SIX days. They were not allowed to see their parents. or viceversa.
  What did they do, Rape , expose themselves in class. NOOOO. They had slapped two girls on the BUTT on BUTTSLAPPING Day. Some of the actions I read on these posts even tho most of them are normal can be considered perverse by the authorities. Try to handle this yourself or go to a councellor..
  Some tome back I read that an 11 year old boy was declared a sexual preditor by the school he attended. I did not find out what he did. But he will be labeled with that for THE rest of his life!!!!

[CubanMomOf2]

I really do not understand why anyone would shut down anything anyone has to say on an open forum.  There are all different mind frames here and everyone has an opinion and is entitled to express them.  Cutie has a valid point in this situation because we never truly know what goes on in a childs head and they are not always so open as u think they are.  She clearly stated that she is not trying to offend anyone but she is bringing up a different perspective that noone else has thought of.  In situations like these you have to keep an open mind and analyze things in many different ways NOMATTER how painful and hurtful they may seem.  Lets not shut down others because they dont think the same as everyone else...Its a good thing to think outside of the box.

[margypops]

This was a 2 year old thread you have brought up...so maybe its a bit late to protest ,,,sorry ,you could start your won on the subject .

[SERIOUSLY1975]

I am sorry what happened to your son...but i am a little confused...you said the 6yr old molested your 10yr old?...so where was the 6yr olds brother the other 10yr old when all this is going on? I am not saying your son is lying could it be possible the 10yr old did it to him....I have five children...3boys and two girls...my oldest boy is 8 and my other boys are 4 and 3 and my girls are 13 and 5... i just find it UNBELIEVABLE THAT A SIX YEAR OLD COULD DO THAT TO A TEN YEAR OLD... you may need to further investigate it.. as far as the father his sons may have told him that YOUR SON MOLESTED THE 6 yr old...why didnt you go to the police...especially if  the father of the children involved is the police...He wasnt going to report his own kids.... i mean really.... CALL CPS..AND GO DOWN TO THE POLICE STATION... and  file a charge against the parents and chilldren. because as an officer of the law he was suppose to have REPORTED IT.. and get your son counseling as well as SELF DEFENSE CLASSES... because if a 6yr old can intimidate him there is a SERIOUS PROBLEM... people stop CUDDLING YOUR BOYS...THEY ARE BOYS.. i AM NOT SAYING RAISE THEM TO BE A HOLES...BUT RAISE THEM HOW I RAISE MINE.. TO SPEAK UP FOR THEMSELVES AND TO DEFEND THEMSELVES AND NOT TO BE SCARED OF ANYONE..AND TELL YOU SON NOT TO DISCUSS WHAT HAPPEN TO ANYONE BUT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND AND THE COUNSELORS.. also talk to the FRIEND HE TOLD..SOMETIMES CHILDREN WILL TELL CHILDREN THINGS THAT THEY ARE AFRAID TO TELL AN ADULT..