child sexual abuse

My daughter went to her friends house (1st time w/o me).  When I was done with work the girls mom brought my daughter back to town and dropped her off at my work.  When she dropped her off I saw this look on my daughters face and I just knew that something was really wrong.  I didn't say anything right away.  I had to stay calm and plan what i was going to say to her without letting her know I was worried about her.  I started questioning her about if she had fun what she played and all that.  My daughter KNOWS that her private is only for her to touch and to never let someone else touch it.  We previously talked about if it would happen that she should tell mom and dad.  She mentioned "the longest part of the time." This was a red flag.  I just kept telling her that she can tell me and that it's okay and  eventually by the end of our conversation...LONG story short she told me her friend told her to go in her closet under her clothes on the floor so she did and the little girl (who turned 5 that day) kissed her private (vagina).  She said after she did it the first time my daughter told her NO and got up then  the little girl BEGGED her to do it again. I was and am still SICK.  I know she would't lie.  She doesn't know what this is and I just don't know what to do.   Her friends whole family work in the school so i feel like I am up against the world.  Nobody would believe me if I said something.  This girls has had to of seen this done or it's happened to her.  She told my daughter "don't tell your mom."  So i question has someone said this to her.   What would you suggest?  This happened November 7th and today is the 19th.  It's eating me alive inside and I have to quit worrying about who's going to get in trouble and start worrying about protecting my daughter.  Does she need help?  Should i take her to see a councelor?  I don't know if she will forget this and if she doesn't will it affect her.  Is this what she is going to expect at playdates now?  We had a talk about it but is that enough? A week later my daughter came home with a drawing and I asked her what it was and she said it was her and another little boy in her class.  She said they got married at school that day and the little girl (the one who did this to her and the little girls cousin who's in the same class)  told my daughter to kiss the little boy.  By her drawing this "married" picture i feel like she's trying to draw how she's feeling.  I am so confused and I need help.  I am going in tomorrow to meet with my doctor for advise also.  This just all seems weird to me and I feel like something is going on with this girl in her family. She is the youngest of 4 kids.  The next oldest is a boy who is a few years older and the girls are older than them.  All under the 8th grade.

[RockRose]

I think if you handle this calmly and matter-of-factly,  your daughter will sail through this fine.

First,  she need to know that she doesn't have to do things she doesn't want to just because her friend "begs" her.  She can just say no, or walk out of the room.

This isn't beyond the bounds of what kids do if they're unsupervised.  

I wouldn't allow her to go there again.

Best wishes.

[adgal]

I agree with all that RR has said.  Remember that at 5 they have not yet gone through puberty, so this is probably more out of curiosity then any real sexual issues on the other little girls part.  I might however consider at least telling the other little girls mother.  Not in an accusatory sort of way, or angry or anything like that, but in a matter of fact way.  I think it's important that she be aware of it in case her daughter has in fact had someone do that to her.  If that little girl is being touched innapropriatly, then her parents need to know.  

[amylynn84]

I think you and RR are right.  I know my daughter is very smart and will be okay.  I don't want to make this a big deal but I DO however want to protect her and know that in the future if something does come of this i can tell her I did what i could to protect her.  I think I will have this little girl and her mom just talk with me and let the little girl know that it's okay to tell her mom what happened and that it's not okay to do that stuff.  Maybe she doesn't know!  Thanks ladies