My 7 year old granddaughter came home from a weekend visit with her father yesterday. Lastnight she began rubbing her genitals inside her underwear. When questioned she replied "It feels soft down there." I have never seen this behavior in her before and we are very close. She lives with me and I have talked to her about not letting anyone touch her "bathing suit" areas except her mother and me, when we are drying her off after bath. We are frightened that her father may have sexually touched her. In the past he has made her sleep with him on visitations rather than letting her sleep in her own bed. He has allowed her to watch him urinate and he often walks around naked in front of her after his shower. Is this normal behavior in a 7 yearold female or should we be concerned?
Masturbation per se is not abnormal. What is worrisome is the onset of the behavior and some of the specifics you offered about life in her father's home. He should not be having her sleep in his bed, and he should not be walking around the house naked, allow her to watch him urinate, etc. These behaviors show extremely poor judgement on his part, and perhaps indicate something beyond poor judgement. While in general it is not useful to question children about their time during visitation, in this type of circumstance you should definitely ask some questions. Do so in a calm, concerned, supportive way. And arrange an evaluation with a menatl health professional as soon as you can.
I have a 7 year boy who I just wrote a post on . he is humping his pillow every where! I was told that this is normal for boy's and girl's at this age , but as family you still feel you need to ask. With your granddaught it is a little different than my son , it is not normal for a grown man to walk around nude in frount of his kids and to let her see him urinate with her in the room ( what a Dad ! ) I would have someone other than you direct family ask her if someone has done something to her . sometimes they are afraid to talk to us because they have been told not too. My sister was abused as a child from one of my step-dads family. She never told until she had kids of her oun. She now has bypolor.
anyway good luck and I will pray that nothing has happed to her.
Thank you so much for your response. That helps, knowing that other 7 year olds are exhibiting this behavior. I am still quite concerned because she NEVER exhibited this behavior before, and it just happened to be after a weekend visit with her DAD!!! She has a therapist but we are afraid if we tell her about this so that she can question then she may call Human Services and that will really open a can of worms.
I would feel the same way. Today people blame everyone but the person who is at blame. But you must find someone you trust to talk to her . you will never let this go until you get help. Also looking back on my sister , if someone had steped up and asked , she may have had a better life now. But like everyone is telling me some of this is normal.
You have to talk to a therapist about this and ask them to subtly question her about it. The therapist should be able to tell if it's normal behavior or not. But you can't just leave it as it is and wonder when she could be in danger.
it sounds like there might be cause for concern if her behavior is new, but I don't think that a parent walking around naked in front of a young child is anything alarming at all. on the contrary, we are generally teaching our kids to be too uptight about bodies. it seems like she is either a)uncomfortable which is definite cause for concern or b)approaching an age where she is interested in her own genitals and body, which is totally normal for a 7 year old, if on the early side. having an adult you and she trust ask her would be definitely appropriate though, especially if she seems uncomfortable
Before I start on my rampage I will say this the issue needs to address where the father is exposing himself around his child. A court in no way shape form or fashion would ever allow that, and he would get supervised if not loose custody of his visitation. I work in law enforcement. That is a fine line. If you are concerned about her sexual behavior I would suggest that you let her see a therapist.
Asking her at that age directly she really may not tell you much. <Most kids at that age wont tell you if they were molested, but there actions will if they have seen it before something of familarity.
If she expresses concern about going to see her dad, like I dont wanna go, or when she does go she becomes extremely difficult. But a child therapist may help her with all these things. You could attempt to ask him but he may become obstinent and angry so I would tread lightly.
Talking to her about her body depending on if she is a bigger child. Kids now adays are expose to alot more than we think.
I myself was molested by my stepfather from age 7-12. your story really concerns me because he started out with walking in front of me naked, almost as if he was testing the waters so to say. once he started with the touching i became sexually courious and touching what he called my "ticklish spot". i never wanted to be alone with him while my mother worked so i would spend time with my grandma. she one day asked me and i denied it. because they are a parental figure they have a control over you. i think speaking to her therapist would be the best thing you could do. they are trained for these types of things and if she denies it to you she my just be hiding it. i know we all worry about social services but either way he is in the wrong for allowing her to see him naked. he needs to take parenting classes because he is crossing a very thin line. i wish you and your family the best of luck and you are all in my prayers.
What age is too young for a child to masturbate and do you think that a child rubbing and forcefully placing doll heads on genital area signals something could be wrong? Could you elaborate on possible causes for a child to use some form of violent rubbing on genital area with a doll. I'm observing this behavior from a 5 year old.
My six year old son is rubbing his genitals on objects recently. I have talked to our family doctor about this and she told me it is very normal for children of this age to explore their body parts. They are just realizing that they are there, and that they have certain sensations when touching them. She explained that as long as we talk to our children about how their bodies are their bodies and they are not to be touched by anybody, even a doctor without a parent present. She also advised me to keep an open and honest discussion with our children. They are young, but they learn quickly and if they aren't learning from us, they will learn it from someone else. So, my advice is to talk to your children and grandchildren. Ask them questions about their bodies. For example, start with bathroom habits and work your way into the conversation. Make sure they are comfortable with the conversation and where it is going. Let them know that if they have questions about certain things pertaining their body parts it is okay to ask. Don't make them feel "dirty" about asking questions. They will never be able to open up to you if something were wrong!
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