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child sexual play-normal?
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child sexual play-normal?

I babysit a 3 year old boy three days a week.  I have a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old boy.  We have had an issue in the past several weeks where I have found my son and the other little boy hiding in my son's room or the bathroom with their pants off.  I, at first, disciplined them both with time-outs and took it as normal sexual exploration.  After the discipline, I took my son alone into a room and very light-heartedly asked him about the situation.  I asked him why they had their pants off.  He replied that the other boy wanted him to take his pants off.  I asked, "Then what happened?"  He replied that the other boy then took his pants off.  I asked, "Why did you listen when he asked you to take your pants off?"  he replied, "Because he's my friend."  I said, "What happened after his pants were off?"  He looked at me with a quizzical look and said "He wanted me to sit on his tail!"  (tail is the word my kids have always used, I don't know why!)  He also said the boy wanted to kiss his "tail".

After the discipline that day, I spoke to the other boy's parents about it.  They said they had several talks with him about keeping his clothes on and not playing that way.  I had no problems for a couple of weeks...then I did not babysit the boy for 2 weeks because his dad took off work and kept him home during that time.  Now, today, is his first day back with me and I caught them in the bathroom together again, pants off.  I talked to my son again and he was less informative this time, only saying that the other little boy kept talking about "weiners".

I want to know if this is normal.  I am concerned about the "sitting" part.  I am concerned that this boy may be being exposed to something he shouldn't, or even being abused.  I know that my son is not being abused or exposed to something he shouldn't, as he is with me all the time except at preschool, where there are 3 adults present at all times.

I am feeling like I should tell this mother I will not babysit her son anymore.  While I seriously doubt that my son has been psychologically or sexually injured at this point, I also will not stand for it to continue in my home.

Please advise...is this normal behavior for a 3 year old?
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2 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
honestly I dont know if its normal for boys or not, but if it was me Id probably refuse to watch the other boy anymore. I mean if somethings happening to this boy by an adult , it doesnt sound like its at a level where it could be proven, it could simply be he has been somehow accidently exposed to porn in his folks home either through magazines or videos,, or even walked in on his parents or something too.. but if he is going to continue exposing your child to this behavior which I agree feels pretty inapropriate for children their age.. then Id refuse to have him around my children.

But thats just how I would handle it, though Im certainly not an expert.

*Hopeing you find the answers your seeking*
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Avatar_m_tn
hey there i geuss im a tad late but oh well
i was abused sexually at 2 y/o and have had councilling. i have been told that i tried to do the same thing to other boys but it did not progress as far as this other boy is doing.
i doubt he has been abused. though it could be another boy. word of mouth.
the boy you baby sit could have heard stuff like this from other children he is in contact with. hope i can help. xo nicky savage
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