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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
childenteraction with non family member
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
childenteraction with non family member
by bull calve, Sep 19, 2001 12:00AM
I take care of a child whose parents ,in my oppinion, are very hard on her. Both children are two and only a few months appart. My two year old is very out spoken and tells me "I don't want to" "no" ect. when this happens I simply take her ,say yes you have too, and make her do it. I don't like to use spanking as adisipline tool. I have in the past at stressed times and will probly again but we are human. The mother of the child I keep told me her two year old in the last week has been telling her "no". She thinks she has learned this "bad behavior" from my child,and probly did. Their main form of disipline is to spank the child for everything they want to teach her. MY question is how can I keep the child I take care of from picking up these outburst behaviors and others not metioned so she dosn't get punished at home? Maybe I'm not sending a clear message to the kids that this isn't acceptable, but at the same time I fell it is normal tow year old behavior. I don't recall the other child ever telling me no, this child hardly speeks. Also I don't want my child to loose her ability to speek up for her self. I have been trying to get the other one to take up for her self.For exaple when a toy is taken away from her, by my chid, I say we don't take things away. When I try to give it back to the first child she won't play with she just Shakes and says here ya go here ya go and hands it back to my child. I am close to the childs grandmother who says the parents will not listen to her advise and gets offended when she has talked to them about how hard they are on her.thanks
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Sep 21, 2001 12:00AM
, Sep 21, 2001 12:00AM
All you can reasonably do is set sensible limits when the child is with you, and be sure to floow through when you do set limits. It is not within your power to determine what will occur in the child's family environment. It is a normal part of development for children to begin to assert themselves by opposing parental limits, and it is equally normal for parents to stick to their limits in firm, reasonable, humane ways.
