children and cursing

I HAVE A 2 1/2 YEAR OLD WHO USES CURSE WORDS.SOME TIMES HE WILL PUT ANOTHER LETTER ON  THE BEGINNING OF THE WORD SUSH AS BUCK YOU OR DUCK YOU. HE WILL USE THEM WHEN HE GETS MAD AND THEN THERE ARE TIMES WHEN HE WILL BE PLAYING AND JUST USE A BAD WORD. HIS SCHOOL TEACHER HAS TOLD ME HE WILL BE PLAYING AND JUST OUT OF THE BLUE SAY ONE BAD WORD AND THEN WHEN HE IS ASKED WHY HE SAID THAT WORD HE WILL TELL YOU HE IS SORRY. MY SON KNOWS THAT THESE WORDS ARE NOT TO BE USED, IF HE HEAR'S ANY BAD WORDS ON T.V OR ANYWHERE HE WILL SAY "HEY DONT SAY THAT WORD IT'S BAD". I HAVE SPOKE TO HIS DOCTOR HE SAYS THIS IS NORMAL AND WHO TOLD ME TO TRY PUTTING VINAGER ON HIS TOUNGE WHEN HE CURSES. I HAVE TRIED THE VINAGER, SOAP, TIME OUT, ACTING LIKE THE WORDS ARE BABY TALK AND I DONT UNDERSTAND THEM AND I TALK TO HIM ABOUT WHY HE CANT USE THESE WORDS BUT HE KEEPS USING THEM! CAN YOU HELP ME I AM AT A LOSS FOR WHAT TO DO I KEEP ASKING MYSELF IF THIS IS  NORMAL BEHAVIOR FOR A CHILD? WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HIM TO QUIT USING CURS WORDS?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Gini,

Sometimes the willful behavior of a two-year-old is best handled by paying it no particular attention and refusing to engage in battles or power struggles around it. But it depends on the behavior in question.

In this instance, I would suggest taking a firm stance, and executing this not so much by talking with your son, but by implementing an immediate, automatic five-minute time out on the occasion of any foul language. I say this because such language will bring on a negative response in the social world (different, for example, form silly talk or so-called 'bathroom talk' that some toddlers display).

For the time out, use an adult-size chair, and utilize a portable timer to track the time. Start the timer only when your son is in the chair and quiet. At the conclusion of the time-out period, simply say "No cursing/swearing/foul language" (whatever term you use with him).