Ok, This is kind of difficult to talk about. when i was around 5 or 6 my cousin who is 2 years older than i was used to make me lay down so that he could "touch" me. He would take me into the trails at my grandparents house so that no one could see. One time he even brought friends. I remember being terrified, and tried to get around going to my grandparents after school. Im not sure how many times he did this (i've blocked it out) Then One time when he was in 9th or 10th grade (Iwas in 7th or 8th) I was babysitting his sister, and he came home. He saw that i was laying with her in bed because she was crying that she missed he mom. He came in and laid on the other side of her. He slowly tried to start feeling his way up my arm and i fianally just got up and left the room. I Never told anyone about this and im wondering if i should. Im now 27 so this was a long time ago. I dont know if he ever did this to his sister or anyone else. I just dont know what to do.
The memorys are always distressing and this is very common, you and he were both underage and it was probably more of a curiosity thing, however it has upset you and stayed in your mind, it is now time to put it away and move on,if it would make you feel better you could speak to your MOm and get her advice, it wasnt a good idea for you to be looking after a younger child at your age in the first place. Get some feedback and talk it out with her that may make you feel better . It was a long time ago now each time it comes up, dont block it think say for 2 minutes and put it out of your mind.
I would suggest just going to a counselor and talking about it. It's never good to block things even more when you know they are there and you can deal with them. No matter what age you were it wasn't your fault and you deserve to talk about it. You do not need to put it away and move on, you need to talk about it. Find someone you trust or go to a professional and work through this.
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