children won't speak to father after affair

My partner and I found each other over a year ago.  We were both married at the time and tried to fight our emotions but they were too strong.  We started an affair and decided to end both our marriages.  
I have 2 young children.  He also has 2 children, but they are a little older.  His youngest son seems to be good when he sees him.  His oldest daughter has refused to speak to him.  Will not see him at all.  She's very angry and feels the need to protect her mother.  The mother has not encouraged any communication between this child and her father.  He is clearly devastated.  He fears he has lost her and will never get her back into his life.  
Any suggestions would be appreciated but please don't preach about the affair.  We knew what we were up against and it's done.  The children not speaking to their father is the issue here.  Please.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Can you blame the girl? You may not want to hear about the affair, but both of you were wrong. Can he expect to destroy the trust in his children and at the same time think they might want to speak with him? Actions have consequences, and while you may think the affair is water over the dam, it is not. If he has lost his daughter, the responsibility for that is on him and you. Can he re-establish the trust that has been violated? Time will tell.

[helpneeded327]

I do understand what you're saying.  Do you have any helpful suggestions?  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

All the girl's father can do is act in a reasonable fashion and be the best father he can be, without pushing the matter of his daughter's lack of communication. If anything is going to turn the tide, it will be his behavior. He has to act in a trustworthy fashion to help make up for the untrustworthy behavior he displayed.

[movingon120]

You are responsible for betraying the deepest trust you were given in life and certainly abominable lies went with it, all to satisfy a self-centered desire. No one else matters and you put yourself above all...the pain you inflicted on your spouse and your children is unspeakable. You are totally unworthy of their trust. And then you want them to just move on? Forgive and forget? Understand? Marriages are reparable...even after long affairs. My husband betrayed me and we are presently moving forward to repair the horrendous damage done. My children have NO trust in him and disdain for his selfishness and pride, but he is woefully sorry and recognizes what he has done. He is willing to give them the time to trust him again. They don't care what he says...they are looking at what he DOES. Life is not about YOU or this man. You can choose to love, to honor to cherish to forgive. I have to forgive so much. I know. They need so much more from him, from you.