confusion

I am a single parent of a 5 yr old boy. We live with my best friend who is a female. However we are just friends we are not a couple in anyway. My problem is this, when my son was 3 yrs he met another boy his age at the park that he was playing with. As we proceeded to leave he said good bye to him the leaned over hugged him and gave him a kiss on his mouth. I quickly told him that what he had done was not acceptable and he was never to do that again. However as he has grown I have noticed he has this thing he always has to be touching other kids.And recently he had a friend stay the weekend over at our home. His friend we noticed was a little bummed and after many questions he said he didn't want to spend the night anymore cause he was tired of my son constantly kissing and hugging him and that he did not like it. My son has some very good male role models in his life. He even participates in Kung Fu. He has never shown signs of wanting any girl stuff and like any boy his age he wants nothing to do with girls. But this hugging, kissing and touching boys has me a little worried! Is this normal child behavior some phase he is going threw that will pass or do i need to call in a psychiatrist? He is a very affectionate child, is he just showing it in a wrong way?

[specialmom]

Don't worry about being gay.  Boys love their friends.  Many boys will walk around holding hands with their buddies up until they enter kindergarten (and maybe a little bit there, girls still do it them).  Your son, however, isn't appropriately reading social cues.  You will have to step in and teach him.  It wouldn't matter if it were girls or boys, his friends don't want to be hugged and kissed so much or even touched so much.

So you play a game with him----  get a hula hoop and put it around him.  Then you try to get in the hoola hoop.  It should feel too close to him.  Explain that he should get that close to people.  They need their space or they may feel too crowded like he does when he has the hoola hoop around him.  Then you get pictures of close family, best friend, school friends, strangers etc.   Have him sit down on the floor.  Make three lines in front of him (out of masking tape or string).  Place family and maybe (maybe but most likely not) on the first line.  Then put his friends on the second line.  Then put strangers (and these would be just pictures of people out of magazines) on the 3rd line.  He does all that himself.  Then you tell him he may hug and kiss those on the first line.  He may high five and give his best smiles to those on the second line.  He may only give smiles to the 3rd line.  So people are seperated out and he sees what is appropriate to do with each group.  

A simple cue of hands to self or enough is good to tell him to back off his friends.  But you have to teach him first what the boundaries are. Good luck

[1lorrainne]

Thank you so much for your advice! He has always been with me since the day he was born I can  now see where he may be lacking those skills that most kids would have learned in daycare and preschool. We will practice this activity right away! Again Thank You your words bring me much relief.