daily tantrums

My almost three year old seems to experience life with only being very happy or very upset.  There is no in between.  Obviously we love it when he's happy - he is such a joy.  The problem is that when he gets upset, there is only one level of being upset - tantrum.  He seems to get so wound up and becomes very physical with us.  We try to ignore this behavior for the most part, but at times it is hard to just leave him alone and ignore him since he starts throwing things around the house and doing other unsafe things.  Typically one of us will sit in the room with him while he physically climbs all over us/ hits us trying to escape.  He will not calm down on his own.  Usually after anywhere from 15 minutes to 45 minutes, we can start reading a book or engaging him in something else, and he will instantly snap back and be calm again.  But this routine is getting very tiring.  It seems to be happening now almost once a day.  We have talked to him about using words, staying calm etc to no avail.  My husband thinks this is beyond the terrible twos.  We are getting more calls about his behavior at school too - not using his listening ears, being disruptive.

Any advice you can offer?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

From a behavior management perspective, implement the guidelines in Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents (see the web site www.sosprograms.com). Do this for six weeks. If you see no progress, arrange an evaluation with a pediatric menatl health clinician.