diagnosis provisional autism

My grand daughter aged 2years 10 months has Autistic Disorder (provisional) expressive and receptive language delay (moderate)
Externalising Behaviour - Pervasive development problem, attention problems and oppositional defiant problems in a clinically significant range.
I am her carer and I have had a close bond with her. Now she claws me, bites me etc does not want to dress, undress, eats poorly and now has me generally walking "on eggshells". She is not toilet trained and shows no interest at all. At least she occasionally tells me she is soiled. She loves swimming and shows no fear (head under water etc)  but screams when it's time for a bath, a shower makes her hysterical just looking at it.
I have tried signing and she picked it up quickly then I realised that she would prefer that to speech, so I have minimised that. She can read some numbers between 1 and 10, counts to at least 20. The counting is  like a mantra sometimes as are other sentences she has mimicked - ie "not too hot, not too cold", "now I know" etc.HELP

[portuguese mom]

Did you contact the First Steps or Early Intervation Dept. of your state for help with speech, Occupational classes and pre-school? Get her state support with the various therapies if you can not afford private. Every child has a right to this help and the states have some budget to help. Please contact your local school district and they will guide you on the availabitilty of services.