disrespectful, know-it-all behavior

[abardoff]

My son, turning 7 in feb., has angry, know-it-all, respect issues. He is a loving, sweet boy at heart but when he doesn't get his way or is disciplined, he panics and then he gets so ANGRY!
When he learns about a new topic (school, sports, games, ANYTHING), he thinks he's an  expert immediately, becomes belligerent, and doesn't want to be taught anymore about it. He talks in class so he misses instructions and blames other kids for distracting him. He talks over top of us, does not want to wait his turn to talk, yells to make his point and is convinced he is right about things he has little knowledge.
I've seen so many children that take the word of their parents as the word of GOD! Not mine.He always knows better and second guesses what adults tell him. He lays blame on others and seems to think that when things don't go his way, or if he's disciplined, it is someone else's fault (ie: "well if you wouldn't have done..., I wouldn't have to act like..." or "I'm being mean because you won't let me..."). It just won't blow over and he over reacts drastically even if it's just a matter of brushing his teeth, or turning the TV off to practice his reading or do some other activity.
Even when he was 8mos. old, if we stopped him from doing something he wanted to do (ie: climbing things, playing w/ things he shouldn't), he would just freak out.
He's very smart, good at math, loving, and he even says that he WANTS to behave. He confesses to me that it is very difficult for him NOT to react the ways he does.
CAN ANYONE HELP???

[AHP84]

It seems like his main issues stem around controlling himself within boundaries. He wants to take charge and make his own boundaries, but in most cases in life, that only works on occasion, and often if you don't "play by the rules," such as obeying the speed limit when you're driving, you get a ticket, or if you don't do as your boss tells you at work, you get fired. So it is important that he learns to control himself now while he's young, because in the typical adult world, not a lot of people are going to give a darn what any of his excuses will be.
However, as margypops said, it seems his personality is strong-willed and high strung. That's certainly not a bad thing, because you can't help how your personality is. I think maybe you could try working with him to an extent...staying within boundaries. Perhaps you and he could make a set daily routine together that he will feel in control of following. For example, make a pie chart and block off X amount of time for homework, playtime, bedtime routine, etc. Let him decide how the order will be of each of those things, within reason. Then he has a level of control in his own life.
Also allow him to make his own board game or card game. He makes the rules, writes them down, and then you play with him, but once the game starts, then no changing the rules unless everyone agrees to it. You might be surprised what he comes up with, and maybe even how willing he is to stick within his own self-made boundaries if everyone else does too.
As far as anything else, boundaries and rules stay the same. For example, if he's playing baseball and it's three strikes and you're out, but he insists otherwise, well then...he's out with no ifs, ands, or buts.
He needs to understand that in certain situations, he must follow the authority figure whether he agrees or not, and stay within the boundaries, or there are consequences, no matter what his excuses are or how angry he gets. But there can also be times when he can exercise his own control and make his own boundaries, and therefore develop his strong-willed personality in a positive direction.

[margypops]

hummm sounds like a leader to me ..I agree that any rude behavior should be curtailed by removal of privileges, but I would'nt curtail his natural personality ,perhaps he is rebelling against stringent rules ie when he brushes his teeth practise reading, , maybe if you tried to accomodate him it wouldnt become a clash of wills Good luck  .