effects of babysitter on 3 1/2 yr. old

Currently I work out of the home from 9-3.  I have a baby and 3 1/2 yr. old son that are watched at home by a sitter.  My son is at school until 1, so he only has 2 hours with the sitter.  Although very loving, he definitely does best with a lot of attention from me (unlike my 1st grade daughter who is more secure and dependant)and as a result of being with a sitter (I feel) can be very 'clingy'.  

I was just offered a position in an office out of someones home that would still allow me to work only until 3, and the kids could be watched by a sitter upstairs.  Although it will be difficult for my son at first to adjust to not having me available but in the same house, do you think that the situation will be too stressful in the long run for him as well?  I love the idea of being able to visit with them from time to time (I would like to have a 'schedule' for visits so it will be consistent), and we could have lunch together, but I don't want my son adversly effected by knowing that I am physically present but emotionally unavailable.

Any comments or suggestions would be most helpful!  Thanks-

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Hannah,

The proposed arrangement might indeed prove to be a problem, for precisely the sort of resons you underscored. It's too much to expect that such young children can grasp the nature of the arrangement. If the upstairs and downstairs are entirely separate, so that, for all practical purposes, you could just as well be in a separate building, the plan might prove to be feasible. Of course, planned visits to you during the day would not be a good idea in this case because they would obviate the illusion of 'distance' that might be created. If the arrangement makes it clear that you are 'present' but not available, it could well be problematic.