excessive masturbation for 5 yo

My boyfriends 5 yo daughter excessively masturbates.  At first i attributed it to normal sexual discovery with maybe some anxiety related to her parents divorce.  It has progressively gotten worse.  I became greatly concerned when it became compulsive for her.  It seems like every moment she isn't involved in activity she is masturbating.  Multiple occasions I have turned around in the car only to find her masturbating or using toys to stimulate herself.  Even when we were having a family get together she was masturbating against the swimming pool ladder.  If you ask her to stop she does for a minute then resumes just as you turn your back.  She even has masturbated while sitting at the dinner table.  I am at wits end because I seem to be the only one who thinks its abnormal.  I have had multiple discussions with her father and he doesn't seem to think its a big deal.  I am just very concerned that something else is going on and I have a small child of my own that I don't want exposed to this.  What do I do?

[xx_Louise_xx]

Hey, first of all i cant imagine how it must feel for u, biological daughter or not. What she is doing isn't right...i dnt want to alarm u, but there is a possibility that she is being molested?! I may be completely out of place and wrong for saying it, but these are the things u have to think about! It could be a friend, family member, a adult at school. Maybe its something she has seen someone else do at school..a film?! I think you need some sort of help...do u have a local authority like Social Services?! You definately need to seek professional help in order to help the situation.

[margypops]

Have you mde sure with a Doctors visit that there isnt some irriation down there and its not masturbation at all, if she had some irritant or allergy in that area she would do this, so first I would get her examined to see if anything else could be the cause ., even an allergy to her underwear or bath soap and gel can be an irritant.Have you asked her Why she does it .? at 5 year old she will tell you if its itchy or hurts ...

[pwill128]

I have given it every possible benefit of the doubt.  This has gone on for two years now and if it were my biological daughter she would have already been examnined two years ago.  I have begged her dad to take her to the dr just to make sure its not an infection.  And it is definitely masturbation.  She moans and her cheeks get flushed and she doesn't stop until she is finished.  Her dad and I have been at odds over this for a while and I believe he is either in serious denial or there is something not right there.  That's the last thing I want to think about.  There has been a call to child services but no follow up done.  I feel like I am the only one who cares and if I leave the relationship who protects her?  It is a very difficult situation to be in.  I guess I just needed a safe place to open up.  I can't be the only one who thinks this is wrong.  I have daughters myself and have never witnessed this behavior from them.

[margypops]

I agree with your gut feeling, as you have also said that this has been happening since she was 3 year old..what are the dynamics in the house , has she older family brothers , who is she around , If you think that abuse is going on you can indeed contact child services again and persist,, if she has no infections it is not normal behavior and you are right to be concerned . Why does  her father not think it is not normal ? Have you been able yo ask her why she is doing it?

[AdennS]

it is possible that she has a mental condition, like a form of torrets (spelling?) or a form of addiction. you should consult a doctor and or a child psychiatrist.

[mammo]

Having attended all the classes to be a Foster parent I learned that children will masturbate when they've been sexually abused.  This is not normal, and I find it very odd that the father is not concerned.  I'm sorry but I think this little girl needs help and you are the only one who can and will get her help.  Call 1-800-ForKids, CPS, contact the school, do whatever you need to in order to get her help. You know this isn't right, do what you can to get her help, and try talking to her about it.  Then at some point you'll have to address the father and why he is not concerned.  I feel so bad for you and the little girl, you're in a tough situation but I think if enough calls go in to CPS they will check it out.  Never let them know you've called before, let them think others are concerned.  Even call the school annonymously and ask them to look into it, say you are a neighbor or friend.  Good luck and please keep us posted on how you both are doing.

[pwill128]

Thanks!

[pwill128]

Update.  After seeing her yet again masturbating in the backseat on our way back from dinner, I had a serious talk with her dad.  I can no longer stand by and allow this type of behavior to go on in my presence.  I told him they needed serious help.  I asked him how he could so blatently allow this behavior to carry on as if its normal.  He said he didn't notice it and she was itching herself cause she had a yeast infection.  I have worked as a l&d nurse for years and I have seen every type of gynecological infection imagineable and I have never seen any person itch so much from it that it requires them to masturbate to orgasm.  She is five years old.  5 year olds don't stick their fingers in their private parts while watching disney movies on the dvd.  I feel so sick to my stomach.  I told him to get her a drs appt asap and I will go with him or else I will never be around him again.  This has to stop.  He told me it was only a big deal to me and I. Was overreacting.  

[margypops]

Where is the mother of this child it may be a good thing to contact her , tell her what your thoughts are about this , I still think that she needs checking out for infection ...you have to get tough and insist , it isnt something to be left to what the father thinks or says , it could affect this child through her life if she had been abused .do not accept this get some CPS  advice ...