fear of dying

My 9 yr. old niece is terrified of going to sleep as she fears dying. We don't think she is pretending as she appears scared, says she sees white and black men standing in the hall and can describe what they are wearing.Her parents had the doctor give her a complete physical with blood work and EKG and physically she is fine. They also tried many things like letting her sleep on their bedroom floor, moving all of her items into a different bedroom, letting her foster sister sleep in her room, letting her dog sleep with her, both parents going in to sleep with her, etc.  When she does fall asleep she awakes in a couple of hours and resumes being scared. The parents are exhausted and frustrated, and let her sleep at her grandparents home and she was not scared there. They also brought her grandmother over to take care of her so they could get some sleep. They are taking her to a counselor but this hasn't helped. The doctor can put her on meds but the parents just have not wanted to medicate her. The first appointment they could get to see a psychiatrist is in September, and they all desperately need relief now as school starts next week.  
Some nights are better then she relapses. Her father wants to move as my niece blames their house as the reason for her fears, or he wants her to stay every night at his mother's house.  My niece doesn't like either idea as it's hard to move, the fears may come back and it would have been a waste of money and time moving. Plus, my niece was also afraid of the upstairs in their old house which is one of the reasons they sold that house. Plus they wouold have to sell all of their animals, which would be heart breaking for the kids.
We are desperate for solutions. My niece claims she is only scared at their house, and she displays a lot of fearful behavior.  I know that it is difficult for children to keep themselves awake, much less be so fatigued that they fall asleep, then wake back up in and hour or 2 just as scared.  Help PLEASE!!!!  PS My niece is a very intelligent, beautiful, loving child, on the honor roll, is learning Spanish in her school's bilingual program, and in several activities at the school. Thanks so much for your help.


This discussion is related to 9-year old's fear of death.

[margypops]

Has anyone else in the Household got a fear of dying she may have overheard would she have seen very scary stuff on TV sometimes Parents forget Children can be afriad if they watch scary grown up movies.Has a Family member or pet died recently that has made her anxious,Talking to someone sounds like a good thing,It does sound as if they are doing too much about it and maybe going the other way, and playing it down would work better, she is getting a lot of attention over the Issue.Letting her sleep on the Bedroom floor is enabling the situation likewise them staying in her Room also,, have they tried telling her that her Bedroom is for her to sleep in, make sure she has read some nice storys , tell them to read each night to her, tuck her in her Bed and leave her there.,leave the room and let her be , it is overkill and they are trying too hard.