fighting siblings

I have 3 children my 9 year old is ADHD combined type, 7 year old is ADHD aggressive, an my daughter is ADD with bi-polar. I love my children more than anything but everyday is harder an harder for me. They never get alone! They fight from the time they wake up till they fall asleep. Nothing is simple here, they carry little to no respect for the next person. They treat their friends an family better than they do each Other. They go to counseling 3 times a. week for their disorders but I have asked an asked for family counseling. The medication works only while they at school so by the time they get home its another world. I have asked an asked for something they can take in the morning an evening but they don't think that's necessary.  I have explained to them how I can't turn my back to cook or anything without them going at it. An its not just little fighting. Its ear shattering screaming, punching, biting.  I have never seen a family treat each other like this. I can't get them to listen to me an I can't deal with this any longer. Im afraid of myself at this point cause I have got pushed over the edge. It takes over 2 hours for me to get them ready for school. They complain if I give them there medication to early cause it wares off before school is out or to late because they wont be still during the morning. I am never entitled to a peace moment. They dont want to deal with them at school if they not on medication. The program i have them in is thru the school district an the therapist an doctor comes to the school. So they don't see them when they not on medication. I have lost jobs because If I don't give them medication they are not allowed to stay at school. My hands are tied with them. I do love them but I can't deal with this anymore. I can't go to work cause NO ONE wants to watch my children when they get home from school. Yes they are everywhere. Home work is a struggle an its just me. They shut down when its to much. I have tried everything to work with them an I just don't know anymore. PLEASE help me how can I get my children to get alone an stop fighting.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Relative to the medication to treat ADHD, there certainly are options that allow for the symptoms to be treated at home as well as at school. This issue should be re-visited and, if necessary, you should obtain a second opinion. There is no need for symptoms of ADHD to go untreated.

Beyond that, you don't need family therapy but you very much need help in behavior management. Have you ever seen the televisiion show Nanny 911? Difficult behavior among siblings can be handled, there's no doubt about that. But you aren't able to handle this alone. You need the help of a behavior specialist. Speak with a person from your insurance company and tell the person what you need. See if they can put you in touch with a provider who specializes in behavior management.