four yr.old bitting peers.

I have been a home daycare for fifteen years and this is the first time in almost five years I've had a bitter, not just once but atleast two times a month for five months and it seems that it won't stop , I have had this girl since she was 4mo. old and now also have her one yr. old brother, at first when I would tell her mother she would giggle (in front of the girl) about it,and say well we don't like this boy anyway, when I gave her the ultimatum that her girl would have to leave, she of course got more serious,well three weeks ago I decided to call the father and requested he drive 45min. to my home from his work to talk with his daughter, this seem to leave an impression on her, and we thought the bitting was over, NOT she's back at it last week and again today and she has a BIG  full set of teeth. I told her mother today this would be the last time. she needs to find a new daycare. I called the dad also so he would hear my side of the story, as it seems Mom doesn't always tell Dad.What can be done about this bitter, I'm afraid for her little brother. She has also taken on lying alot,blaming others, etc. isn't 4yr.(in Oct.)a little young for all of this?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Jeanne,

It sounds like you already know what appears to be the problem. Yes, persistent biting in a child her age is not the norm, and it is reasonable to expect that consistent limit-setting by her parents, and equally consistent follow through, would curtail the behavior. But it doesn't appear that the little girl is receiving the benefit of such an approach.

You were doing the best you could, but you need the support and backing of the parents. When you made an attempt to enlist their support it was helpful, but of course such an approach wasn't going to result immediately in cessation of the behavior. If you could have been confident that the girl's parents (mother, as well as father), were going to insist on appropriate behavior, the biting probably would have stopped. Unfortunately, the little girl is displaying signs of at least some behavioral problem and, more likely, the beginnings of emotional disorder.