frustrated & concerned

my 8yr old son has begun regressing after having been completely potty-trained for a very long time when he was almost  2yrs old he was placed in fostercare when i called the police on myfriend after an altercation where he & i got into a physical struggle as he attempted to spank my daughter ,to prevent that from occuring since i never allowed anyone to discipline my children but me is stepped  in between them .i had always told my daughter if anyone ever put their hands on us i would call the police so to not lose her trust (she was 7yrs old at the time) i did what i tol her i would next thing i know my kids were n foster care (and not a good one where my son was traumatized over potty training (they sat him on a toilet for 2 hours screaming no boo if he didnt poop enough he couldnt get up ) it was an isolated incident not a domestic violence as they portrayed it to be  i couldnt get my child near a toilet for a year aftr he came home six mo after they were detained 5mo of that trying to get them out of that emotionally and physically abusive foster home .he has had several short periods of regression in #2 potty-training where along withthe regression is anger outbursts & nightmares i was told these are post traumatic stress episodes bur so far nothing seems to have helped to resolve them ive exhausted every approach & solution ive been able to find out about to try please tell me how to help my son -it hurts my heart so to not know how to help him

[Makayda]

Hello,
I was in foster care when I was a kid and had a pretty traumatic childhood. I used to wet my bed almost every night and I would sometimes have accidents during the day or almost not make it to the toilet. It's not that uncommon in children who have been through a lot. I would suggest therapy, it would be helpful for him to be able to talk openly about his experiences and feelings. You can try talking to him too. Sometimes adults don't want to talk to kids about the hard or heavy stuff because we want our kids to be happy. But they can handle it and sometimes they need to talk about what's really going on so they can better understand it. Talking to him or just listening to him might rebuild your bond and trust. ( with out any pressure to use the toilet but just having a discussion to see how he feels about it)
Good luck.