Aa
frustrated mom of a
I have 3 boys, 9, 7 and 5 boys. I am so frustrated with my 7 year old that I have considered sending him away to live with his dad. I have had him evaluated and the only thing they have diagnosed him with is ADHD, and that was diagnosed through an hour evaluation with a behavioral health counselor. I would LOVE to get a second opinion, however, there are so many cases that it has taken me over a year to get to where I am with his diagnosis, I have called other doctors that specialize in behavioral health but like I said that there are too many cases and it would take me 6 more months to a year to see anyone about a second opinion.
Anyway, my son is alert, energetic( spurts of overwhelming energy), loving child. But is easily upset over nothing, does things to test me to see if i'm going to punish him, takes control of parental situations even when told that i will take care of it, like making sandwiches for lunch or getting my 5yo something to drink, i say give me one second i'll get it,stop whatever i am doing to do whatever is being asked and he's defiant and is doing it anyway, starts trouble with his siblings to cause them to fight to lose privaledges so he can do what was taken away from the others, example, my 9yo and my 5yo play the playstation together with my 7yo, taking turns, but then it doesn't seem good enough to take turns, so the 7yo will say something to one or the other to cause a fight and fighting over and in front of the playstation causes them to lose the privaledge for a extended period of time,which gives the 7 yo the option to play alone cause they'll fight and he'll walk away so he's not associated with the fight. He gets up in the middle of the night, sneaking around, getting into the snack cabinet, hiding them in his PJ's takes them back to his room, or i have even woken to find him walking around, and when he notices that i am up, he'll hide behind things and watch me. LYING, this is the worst of it all. If he was wearing a red shirt and he took it off and threw it on the floor and i watched him do it, being shirtless i would ask him if its his shirt and would not even think about the question, he would lie. He will lie about anything and everything, even though 99% of the time I already know the answer to the question or watched him do whatever. Sneaks, very sneaky, or so he thinks. Writing this post, I am less than 5 feet away, and out of the corner of my eye i see him grab a snack and hide it in his shorts, cover with his shirt,all the while watching me to make sure i'm not watchimg (even though i am) and walk right past me. I give them their meals plus snacks and when asked i would even give him a snack, but he'd rather sneak around with it. I have taken things away, I have timeout, i have spanked him, but nothing seems to work, night after night of being caught and getting punished, day after day and nothing working. He lived with my ex for about 2 months and said that he was fine and didn't notice anything. Could it be rebellion because my attention is shared so he thinks that if he's in trouble that i'm paying attention to him. I do things with them together and i try to find time in my very hectic schedule to have alone time with each one. I don't know what else to do and the consideration of his father has been a strong consideration lately, but if i can find a way to control this i want him here with me. Please help even a suggestion. Thank you.
Anyway, my son is alert, energetic( spurts of overwhelming energy), loving child. But is easily upset over nothing, does things to test me to see if i'm going to punish him, takes control of parental situations even when told that i will take care of it, like making sandwiches for lunch or getting my 5yo something to drink, i say give me one second i'll get it,stop whatever i am doing to do whatever is being asked and he's defiant and is doing it anyway, starts trouble with his siblings to cause them to fight to lose privaledges so he can do what was taken away from the others, example, my 9yo and my 5yo play the playstation together with my 7yo, taking turns, but then it doesn't seem good enough to take turns, so the 7yo will say something to one or the other to cause a fight and fighting over and in front of the playstation causes them to lose the privaledge for a extended period of time,which gives the 7 yo the option to play alone cause they'll fight and he'll walk away so he's not associated with the fight. He gets up in the middle of the night, sneaking around, getting into the snack cabinet, hiding them in his PJ's takes them back to his room, or i have even woken to find him walking around, and when he notices that i am up, he'll hide behind things and watch me. LYING, this is the worst of it all. If he was wearing a red shirt and he took it off and threw it on the floor and i watched him do it, being shirtless i would ask him if its his shirt and would not even think about the question, he would lie. He will lie about anything and everything, even though 99% of the time I already know the answer to the question or watched him do whatever. Sneaks, very sneaky, or so he thinks. Writing this post, I am less than 5 feet away, and out of the corner of my eye i see him grab a snack and hide it in his shorts, cover with his shirt,all the while watching me to make sure i'm not watchimg (even though i am) and walk right past me. I give them their meals plus snacks and when asked i would even give him a snack, but he'd rather sneak around with it. I have taken things away, I have timeout, i have spanked him, but nothing seems to work, night after night of being caught and getting punished, day after day and nothing working. He lived with my ex for about 2 months and said that he was fine and didn't notice anything. Could it be rebellion because my attention is shared so he thinks that if he's in trouble that i'm paying attention to him. I do things with them together and i try to find time in my very hectic schedule to have alone time with each one. I don't know what else to do and the consideration of his father has been a strong consideration lately, but if i can find a way to control this i want him here with me. Please help even a suggestion. Thank you.
..."I wouldn't give your son to his father, who knows what's going on when he's there."
Who knows what's going on anywhere? Don't assume one household is better than another unless you've been there!
..."You know the way men are....they don't see things the same way woman and mothers do. :) "
The child will likely benefit from more balance between male and female guidance, to see things from two different perspectives. :)
Who knows what's going on anywhere? Don't assume one household is better than another unless you've been there!
..."You know the way men are....they don't see things the same way woman and mothers do. :) "
The child will likely benefit from more balance between male and female guidance, to see things from two different perspectives. :)
I would call a child psychologist and get some advice. They could lead you in the right direction.
Try to be patient with him. It sounds like he wants to be a helper and all. Sounds like he thinks he a little adult. (I have a neighbor child that use to be like that...also with ADHD...used to get me crazy when I babysat) The helping part is great...I would let him help. Gives you break if he could handle it. Also give him jobs to do to help...then he'll really feel important.
I wouldn't give your son to his father, who knows what's going on when he's there. You know the way men are....they don't see things the same way woman and mothers do. :)
Post again and let us know what's going on....
Try to be patient with him. It sounds like he wants to be a helper and all. Sounds like he thinks he a little adult. (I have a neighbor child that use to be like that...also with ADHD...used to get me crazy when I babysat) The helping part is great...I would let him help. Gives you break if he could handle it. Also give him jobs to do to help...then he'll really feel important.
I wouldn't give your son to his father, who knows what's going on when he's there. You know the way men are....they don't see things the same way woman and mothers do. :)
Post again and let us know what's going on....
Why isn't he allowed to come down in the middle of the night and get a snack without having to "sneak" it? Why can't he just get one? While you're tying away on the computer, why can't he just go to the cabinet and fix himself a snack?
Maybe that's the difference in his dad's house - he isn't forced to pick between asking and sneaking - he just goes and fixes himself food.
It sounds like you have a control problem, and the problem is that you want to completely control him. Why?
Maybe that's the difference in his dad's house - he isn't forced to pick between asking and sneaking - he just goes and fixes himself food.
It sounds like you have a control problem, and the problem is that you want to completely control him. Why?
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