gay or not

[iamachild]

hi my son masturbates and sometimes goes online and prints out gay porn pics and looks at them when he masturbates he is olny 13 and he told me that he fantasizes aout having gay sex and always wanting to get the chance to see some boy he goes to school with penis he also told me he sucked his best friends and his best friends broths penis and enjoyed it and they did the same to him i told him that is innaproate and that he shouldnt do it can you please tell me if he is gay or not

[SL345]

Most gay men report that they knew they were gay between ages 9-11. Because of the social stigma with self identifying as gay, many young men tell themselves and others that they aren't gay. Also, some are bisexual, so they are genuinely interested in both males and females. It's great that your son can talk to you about his sexual attraction to others. How do you find out if he's gay? Ask him plainly if he thinks he's gay. Ask him if he has any attraction to girls. Ask him how strong his attraction is to girls and how it compares to his attraction to boys (ask him to rate it on a scale from 0-10). Ask him how he would feel if he is gay. Tell him you love him and will support him no matter what he is. Talk to him about safe sexual practices and the risks of not protecting himself (and not just about HIV/AIDS, but all STD's). It is okay, in my opinion, to tell him he's too young to  act in sexual ways, just as you would if he was doing the same with a girl. Being gay is difficult enough in our society. If he thinks he's gay, it's important not to  compound his problems by telling him he's not gay. There are web sites, such as http://www.siecus.org and http://www.pflag.org that can be helpful to you and your son. Good luck.