getting a child to say sorry

My son is 6 and he does not like to say sorry.  Tonight, the babysitter picked him up and held him in her arms and he scratched her. He told me later it scared him.  I've seen him do this before, like pull hair etc and then say he was scared.  He has sensory issues.  He keeps saying to me, " I don't do sorrys".  I would like him to say sorry and mean it, but now he only says it if he is forced too and then I feel lit doesn't mean anything. Is this something that comes with maturity, etc?  

[benjimom]

any suggestions.

[margypops]

Well at 6 year old I would ask the Baby sitter not to pick him up, I can see it would scare him .Yes I think it does and I wouldnt push it if I wre you, you could show by example, and maybe you do, that momm  and Dad always say sorry when they do something hurtful,if you make an issue out of it he maybe rebel anyway. when he says he doesnt do sorries, ignore it, he may feel he gets attention from the issue. I feel less talk may work , and I dont think the Babysitter needs to pick him up do you ....

[benjimom]

Thanks Margypops, good advice...

[Sandman2]

   In my book - actions always count more than words.
Smart kids will (or can) quickly learn to say anything to get out of trouble.  Politicians have obviously learned that trick too.
  For those reasons, I don't put to much into saying sorry.   There are other ways to show that you are sorry.  Hugs are good.  A picture, a helping hand.  See if you can find another way for him to express himself.  Also explore the idea that it doesn't necessarily mean that he is sorry he did something (he may not remember he did it, etc.), but he is sorry that the other person feels bad.  If he can get to where he feels empathy for the other person - that's a pretty big thing.  I'm just not sure at what age it happens.

[benjimom]

Good points, Sandman.  Yeah, a lot of adults say sorry and don't really mean it.  Plus, it's not something you can force.