grandmother

[Kima1961]

   My grandson's school sends home a daily report of children's behavior. This is measured with colors red being the worst and of course green being the idea behavior.  My youngest grandson has been receiving red most of the time and causes are any number of behaviors. Too much talking, yelling, not following directions, etc. I am worried about this "acting out" is my term for this behavior. His older brother receives green most of the time. He is also major "OCD" where as his brother is more laid back. The younger one is currently chewing constantly on anything he can fit in his mouth. Would all these things be related? Is this something we should be worried about?

[Kima1961]

   Thank you for all your insight. I was a single parent for awhile and my boys were independent little ones. They did things without being asked. By early adolesence, they were cooking and helping around the home. I was working and finishing up my education. Now with my 13 yr. old daughter(fahter is prewsent in the home), she absolutely does nothing here in the home. If I ask her to do something and she complains, Dad does it. He never asks her to do anything. He is the type of parent who wants to be her friend and savior. I used to catch him doing her homework. She does nothing here. I have to get on her to bathe, bring me her dirty clothes after 2 weeks of washing nothing of hers. You walk iner room she has what I call patch work carpet(wall to wall clothes). I have kind of given up. I cry alot in the bathroom. Well this is no place for adult issues. I am here for the chiuldren in my life. I thank you for all your ideas, input, experience and knowledge.
                                     Kima

[divx]

I think the key is "PATIENCE"  because  many create many challenging situations. Most parents confront the same behavior problems. We become annoyed repeating everything three times. We spend too much time arguing. We become drained from the nagging and whining and manipulating and quarreling. We become exhausted from shouting and threatening. At times, it seems that all we do is punish. We feel guilty for getting angry, but it appears to be the only way to get results. We blame ourselves and feel ineffective for not knowing what to do. There are times when we dislike our children because their misbehavior makes us feel so inadequate and miserable.

Knowing how to react is essential. Knowing how to prevent discipline problems is more important. You can escape many predicaments by setting up a few guidelines in advance. Successful parents believe in prevention and planning. They are more proactive than reactive. You will learn several strategies to help you be more proactive.

What factors contribute to successful parenting? Successful parents and their children are partners in discipline. Successful parents know that discipline is a teaching process. Discipline is not just punishment. Successful parents understand that their behavior and emotions affect their children's behavior and emotions. Successful parents model responsibility. They focus their attention and energy on the positive aspects of their children's behavior. Successful parents emphasize cooperation, not control. Successful parents teach their children to think for themselves. They teach children self-control. Successful parents build self-esteem. They know that healthy self-esteem is the main ingredient children need to develop self-confidence and resiliency. Successful parents learn from their children.
We need to observe and check our selves not only our children or grandchild..

[Kima1961]

   Thank you for those informative websites. Also I was actually describing both my grandsons. The older one (8 yr 0ld), is the OCD one. Neatness is important and he recently informed me that,"I know everything MaMaw." His classes at school actually range from 3rd thru 5th grade. The younger child (will be 6 yr old soon) is the grandson acting out, uncooperative, yelling, talking too much and argumentative. He also says he knows everything. In his case even when he is wrong he insists he isn't and will not sway from this opinion. Oh yeah...he is the chewer, not his clothing, but just about anything he can fit in his mouth. (After thought- when he was a toddler,he would hide food in his room and save any unfinished edible in a hiding place. We never could figure out why. Boy have I said a mouthful. I am just so worried. Thanks for all the input. I love this site, I wish it had been available when my children were youngsters.
                                            Grandma Kima

[althepal39]

I don't think that is anxiety - I think it may be boredom.  

[jdtm]

Yes - the behaviours you have mentioned - too much taking/yelling, not following directions, constantly chewing, acting out - are all examples of anxiety behaviours.  I might suggest you check the following websites - worrywisekids.org  and kidsbehaviour.co.uk  and childanxiety.net.  By the way, OCD is one of the anxiety disorders although I suspect from reading your post, you are referring to the behaviours and compulsions and not the actual disorder.  Hope this helps.