hair knotting and pulling out

[cassese]

my son will be 4 in nov. he has always played with his hair and mine since he was a baby . He used to grab my ponytail and rubit on his face arms etc. then he began stroking his own little sections of hair. he always did this when tired or relaxing infront of the tv or while going to sleep. now he twists it into terrible dreadlock type knots , sometimes comesto me with his fingers tightly tangled in hishair or his wrist stuck to the top of his head .  he ususally plays with the knot or twists it until the whole clump of hair comes out . we find these clumps all over the house. i tried rewarding him if he doesnt do it. I tried a chartwith stickers. He doesnt like when i show him the hair that i find. today i tried time outs  whenever i catch him doingit. which i am sure is not appropriate , because he does it as a soothing/relaxing thing. I tried giving extra hugs and attention, Ps i havea 4 month old... but my son does not seem jealous at all about his new sibling..anytime  i want to spend alone time with my son he eants me to include the baby too. he now has a huge bald spot o his head and its damaging the hair that does not get ripped out. he says he doesnt know why he does itand says everyday he is going tostop... my doc says ignore it,that dint work and i dont want to cut all his hair off. I told him please let me take out the knots, but the hair comes out even then. he knows i get upset when he does thisand tries to hide theclumps from me .I bought himatoy with a hait tail that he sleeps with and knots th heck out of that too in adition to his own hair or mine if he sleeps next to me.this has beengoing on for about 5months now with the serious knotting. what do i do?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are correct in thinking of this as a soothing behavior which he has learned over time. The aspect of tension release also appears prominent in the behavior. Behavioral approaches, not punishment as an option, are generally sensible. You might try two things: (a) do have his hair cut short for a while, because this in itself will impede the behavior. and (b) have him wera cotton mittens while at home when he is not occupied (e.g., when he goes to bed, while he's watching television. This simple remedy is quite effective in changing a habit pattern. The technical term for your son's behavior is trichotillomania. It sounds like it began as a soothing mechanism (much like thumb sucking) that has now evolved into a habit pattern.

[Jillybean1971]

A related discussion, Hair knotting and pulling was started.

[embear]

A related discussion, Hair pulling 18 month old was started.