hitting cats

[sweetie5155]

My brother is divorcing his wife and they have a 5 yr old son, my nephew is staying with his dad 85% of the time because his mother is Narcassitic (spelling) and everything is about HER,she spends no quailty with my nephew. My brother is staying with our sister right now, and my sister has 3 cats, my nephew is abusive to the cats, pulls their tails, hits them,etc. He is beginning to lie about things, and cussing (from what he hears at his mama's)and pretending to smoke, and pretending to drink beer. Any suggestions on discipline on hitting the cats?

[margypops]

Your sister should look after the cats remove them from him, it is not good that he hits defenseless animals , it is up to her to protect them,

[megochick101]

I would definitely put him in a time out whenever he tries to hit the cats or does anything else that is unacceptable. You could also try taking toys away or a reward system where he can earn them back if he's plays nice with the cats. Whenever he hits the cats, just say calmly Don't hurt the cats. try not to make a huge issue out of it, and then make sure if he is being nice to the cats praise him like crazy that way he'll realize that he'll get more attention by being nice to the cats. As to the cussing form his mom's. the only thing you guys can do is tell him the rules of this house(you can't change his mom's house) and sit down and explain to him what is not ok when he's with his dad.

I would also have his dad talk to him about the divorce, and explain that it's not his fault. You may want to recommend having him go to a therapist because of the divorce and also because his mothers narcissism(that couldn't have been healthy for him)

[lexchlmoo]

i've actually read up on this before - children abusing animals.  Basically these are warning  signs and need to be taken seriously.  it's his cry for help.  the environment that he is being raised in is causing this.  this environment needs to change or him be removed from it.  he could be being abused emotionally or mentally if not physically.  he is seeing aggressive behavior and probably experiencing it himself, thus abuse.  at least that's what it sounds like to me. especially going thru divorce, i'm sure both parents are going thru a tough time and children suffer during this time.  and if they didn't get along before then, he's probably watched them fight.  yes, fighting in front of kids effects them negatively.  he needs to help.  kids don't know how to channel there emotions very well, let a lone these strong aggressive emotions.  this is sorta how they get it out.  the adults may take there aggression out on a child whether it be physical, mental, or emotional and kids in turn take it out on something less defensive than themselves, animals or even another child.  it's not the child's fault exactly.  it's the parents who need to be corrected.  let them know what they are doing to there son, or whoever it is he is watching.  let him know what he is doing to the cats is wrong of course and that's not how he should handle his feelings, show him the right way to deal with his anger and the right way to love the cats.  have him talk about what he's feeling.  i'm sure you know it helps to talk about your feelings, maybe that's what he needs someone to listen to him.  if not abuse, then maybe he has a behavior disorder.  it's not normal for normal people to abuse people or animals.  there has got to be a cause that's no one is seeing.  good luck!

[specialmom]

Maybe if your brother and sister he's staying with sat down and came up with a list of rules----  then write them on a poster board and hang them.  I'd think pretty high on the list would be hurting the cats or even playing too rough with them.  If this does not work, then I'd make the cats off limits period.  (just to protect the cats and if he is not controling himself----  then he has to stay away from them (and them away from him)).  Then I'd go over these house rules and stress that these are the laws of the land that everyone will abide by (dad, aunt, etc. will have to do so as well-----  ie:  no name calling, no cussing, etc.).  He can be told that his  mother may have different rules but these are the rules for this house.  He abides by them, he gets his reward --- perhaps points he will earn  (I like special outings with lots of attention for just them the best for rewards) at the end of said period.  If not, he loses points to obtain the reward.  Catch this kid doing things right whenever possible, he is going through a stressful time.  Good luck and you are very good hearted to worry so about his welfare!