how can I tell if my son who is 6 has aspergers

ok for a long time I have been dealing with behavior issues which includes hitting and kicking when he gets mad. and his speech is in a very low voice and he has a speech delay. he also has and still is sleep walking that started around 3 years old. he does not take well to change. he has a problem making friends or keeping friends due to him being violent. if he does make a friend when they don't like him then he becomes upset. there is a family history of bipolar. but i don't think that it is bipolar. I was talking to a friend of mine who is around my son she told me that he reminds her of her daughter who was told that she has Aspergers. I would really love to know what could cause his behavior.
in school he is very smart and helpful. last year his teacher told me that the only issue she had with him was that when he makes a mistake he gets upset and wants to start over. but she told me that he is very smart. I have also noticed that I can not keep his attention for long and when i loose his attention it is very hard to get it back. his hearing is ok I know that he can hear me but sometimes it does not seem that way. when he gets dressed he seems to have a melt down if he is not dressed the way that he thinks he should be for excample he has to put his shirt on first then his pants then his socks and last his shoes if i put his pants on him first then he will start crying and take it off until he has his shirt on and when i put on one sock and one shoe before i put on the other sock then he will not give me his foot to put the shoe on until I put on his other sock witch makes it hard on me.
can you help me to understand what is wrong with my son and did I do something wrong that could have prevented this and how can I help him thanks


This discussion is related to Does my son have Asperger's Syndrome?.

[RockRose]

He sounds like he has a mix of challenges.  I don't know that you need a diagnosis,  as much as you need strategies to deal with individual difficulties for him.  

It sounds like he's brushed with a little compulsiveness,  a little sensory defensiveness,  and a little bit of performance anxiety/perfectionism.  

He's old enough now where he can choose how to dress himself (and largely what to wear) so given a little extra time in the morning,  maybe allowing him to make the choices that work best for him would be best.  

And no,  you didn't do anything wrong.  It's great that he's trying very hard to succeed in school,  and is very smart.

He'll have to be taught to curb his violent behavior.  I'm amazed,  when you ask kids "what can you do instead of hitting",  "what can you do if you feel like yelling",  "what can you do when you get so frustrated you scream",  they can actually come up with some answers.  Some of them are goofy but when they take responsibility for coming up with ideas,  they tend to try them out.  (I can walk away from my friends.  I can tell them I'm angry.  I can decide to go sit over there and calm down. that kind of thing).  Teaching him to recognize when he's about to blow his stack and do something besides become violent will help.  Once he can recognize when he's escalating emotionally,  and at some point avoid the situation or verbally express anger,  he'll do a lot better.