how could I help my daughter

[mustik]

my daughter is going  4 years years ,  since she was born she was okay till I discover that she has poor eyes contact and she is  late of speaking , I checked and I found out this might be signs of atusim , I had all medical test might needed  to be sure if she has  any level of atusim  or not , THIS HAPPENED when she was 3 years old but her Dr and people around me they said she is fine , I prefared to be blind and believe in them and to wait what cana happen , last year I sent her to school to mix with kids in her age and that was great idea beavause she start to speak and start to express her self  not as i wish but al least now i can understand what she wants , her eye contact become very good, she is easily mix with people , but sinceone month she start to be very mad if i levae her even to work or to any place even inside home , you cant tell her no for whatever she ask for , I dont rememeber any night I dont cry for her I love her more than I love my self , I feel I am very weak with her , I dont know what to do please try to help

[Ecologic]

As far I as know PDD = autistic spectrum. The good thing thins is she does not seem to be autistic. She could be either Asperger or PDD-NOS (that's a term for someone who has autistic traits but is not autistic, I think it is fairly close to Asperger).

Your daughter is a normal little girl, just a bit different. She could also have hyperactive disorder, quite common with people on the spectrum.

You can read books by Tony Attwood "Asperger's syndrome, a guide for parents and professionals". There are other books he has written, one is about girls.

The 2 things to be worried about: social interaction (making friends) and sensory problems. I personally developed severe sensory problems (noises, smells) when I was about 17 and these are much bigger problems for me than the social aspect of being on the spectrum.

[mustik]

but now too late

[mustik]

well speacialmom



The real issue is when it comes to my daughter I just can’t help it  , it is something to do with my love to her  and searching for the best –whatever this best might be-  what is really bothering me I can’t exactly tell what is wrong  with her , knowing I have all the clues , the worst part of this kind of illness is   there is no certain test  , blood or whatever to inform you , positive ,  or negative

so it is something you have to come out with it , when Docrtor told me PDD , I said fine its  okay , then I start to search there is five differnt type , non of them matches with her case 100% or even 50 % but still she is also not 100% normal
then I recall back her signs , when i was reading PDD  nothing mentioned about hyperactive behave , poor aye contact , i can tell may be she get rid of that 85% even now a days i can tell i am not noticing that

may be I am very close to say YES for sensory integration disorder  and regard hyperactive nothing only she never stop playing running , she never been seated for a minute only when she watchs TV , and when she watch TV  if there is a song she likes she sing it and dance   so always i get to be misleaded
so if you were in my chose  you will say well she has signs of PDD , she has signs of hyperactive , oh she is staring okay this is a sign of petit mal .......etc
the truth is I am tired of not being sure what is exactly wrong with her , thats why I will keep searching and searching .......

I will do the blood test now for her then wait the results .

I am not worried about her she has serioues problem I am worried about I dont want one day to come and someone will tell me, Man why you are late  if you discover that , you would have solve it , but no too late

regards

[specialmom]

Hi, I can relate a bit.  My son has sensory integration disorder.  this is often comorbid or along with autistic kids but he is not autistic.  Some kids with sensory integration disorder are pretty low functioning.  Their motor planning is so poor that getting dressed on their own is nearly impossible.  The signals that the brain needs to get out to carry out tasks are interrupted and therefore, any type of motor activity even the most basic like chewing can be difficult for them.  

My son is mild in comparison.  I thank every day that this is the case.  And because he has the combination of being mild and quiet bright/smart---  he has been able to overcome or learn to cope with his sensory issues.  He is not 'cured' but rather can lead a normal, functioning life after the tools he was given to do so.  He's now 9 and has no special aids at school and blends in quite well.  he's a straight A student, plays sports, has friends, and even started playing violin this year!  He's been able to overcome things that caused him to hardly be able to maintain himself in his earlier years.  We embraced his diagnosis and took experts opinions into consideration while doing what WE ultimately felt was best for him.  Experts know a lot but I really recommend you do your own research.  Example:  my son's sensory issues can look like hyperactive adhd.  I knew from experience that his sensory diet activities created focus/calmness in him therefore, this was not adhd.  When the recommendation came to seek that diagnosis and begin medication if it was determined that he had adhd, I said no.  My research put me in a position to contradict that advice.  I turned out to be right.  My thought was that if I was wrong on that, I could address it later but am happy to report that it appears that was a wise decision.  

So, really critical to read all you can, talk to lots of people about this, etc.  

And again, my son is mild as well.  He did need help to overcome the challenges but that because he was mild, he had better odds to get on track.  Which he has.  

Your daughter sounds in the same boat.  This is good news in terms of the future!

[mustik]

hello everyone

specialmom , good day

Yes this what I was given , he said she is spectrum  PDD miner

he asked for long list of blood test also ,  

he asked me to stop giving her any food with sugar  as he noticed she is hyperactive also

he said that she could easily better as her signs are miner

his answer about staring was ,( she got her own world )?!    and i should not be worry about it

he said her case could be solved

once I was there after I saw so many kids with autism  who I felt sad for all of them I really felt my daughter supposed to be not there , I felt she is a way from what they suffer - God bless them all
i am saying that   may be trying to let you know she has a miner case but still spectrum  .

when you go back to PDD , you will find a gain each case has it is own conditions  ,  it is a wild range of signs and sympyoms , this is confusing I wonder where to stand  .... no serach or research says there is cure  , they just keep you going around  

conclusion

i did accept she is spectrum , i think now my real mission  starts , hopefuly you   and every one who has a dvice for me  HE/SHE  will be there

[specialmom]

Is this a diagnosis you've been given?

[mustik]

Spectrum .PDD miner case

[mustik]

Hello specialmom

Thanks that you are watching on

For sure I will not repeat the same mistake twice  I will never put words in a doctor mouth this was the critical mistake I have done before

This morning as I started observing all my daughter behaviour when she was staring I did make my self  coughing after she finish staring she said to me bless you as she knows what is going around her while she was staring
Any idea about that

[specialmom]

If I may interject, I think that Ecologic is just offering another possibility for you to look into.  NOT for you to determine that she has aspergers syndrome which is on the autistic spectrum and considered high functioning autism.  I would read all about it.  Look for things that ring a bell.  Don't put words in any doctor's mouths but rather be an investigator that is seeking the right course of action over time and not immediately.  

to me, she sounds like she is doing pretty well.  but Ecologic makes some good points to consider.  

I do think that you need to investigate this staring as it could be seizures.  good luck

[mustik]

Hello there

Thanks for whatever you said
I would be more convinced with what you said because  you practice such case

Are you telling me that if my daughter has asperger syndrome that could be solved
   Atustic spectrum  my answer will be just a professional doctor will name it
But anyway I do appreciate your help I will inform you abiut what might her doctor says after our visit
Take care

[allmymarbles]

Very glad we could help. By the way, if you said "yes" to all my questions, I do not see how she could possibly be autistic.

[mustik]

I spend last day search petit mal  signs and symptoms  so special mom and allmymarbels and whoever there Thanks alot again and again for your help  I decide to start checking her with doctors

So first visit will be September 30 with atusim doctor but this time I will not put words in his  mouth and I will be good listener I will check what he will say then inform you about it
Have a nice day

[allmymarbles]

The only thing I notice that you might want to check out is her staring (silently?) several times a day. This could possibly be petit mal, but only possibly. Generally speaking, because of your affection for your daughter, you worry too much.

Enjoy your daughter. She sounds like a loving creature and childhood drifts away very quickly.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I'm going to be totally honest with you.  From the last list you've written, no.  It doesn't sound like autism to me.  your child may have something going on that your sister picked up on but time will tell with that and autism would be something others besides just her could identify.  They do take a parent's report to heart when diagnosing but that is not all.  They observe and do so over a period of time.  

the one thing that does concern me is the staring off.  There is something called absence seizures.  (not the technical name).  Kids literally stare off into space but are actually having a seizure.  A neurologist diagnoses this.  I'd mention it to your general practitioner/pediatrician.  

but otherwise, she sounds like she is developing socially and otherwise and moving along the spectrum of that.  Kids grow and mature at different rates.  She may have been shy and not speaking much to your sister but in general she sounds like she plays with other kids and interacts with adults and such.

My son has sensory integration disorder which is a nervous system issue.  At 2.8 years old----  he wasn't interacting at all with other kids and just a little bit with teachers at his one half day a week preschool.  Meaning, it doesnt' sound like your daughter has these types of issues.  


hang in there.  I know it is hard but perhaps your sister misread the situation of your daughter and has worried you when you shouldn't be.  Ask her doctor about the staring off though to be safe.  peace and blessings to you

[mustik]

I really appreciate you allmymarbels and special thanks for specialmom because it's a lovely feeling that I found who I can talk to about my daughter

First of all the story starts going to autism doctor  I feel as I put words in his mouth ,  you must remember that I went to the first time to atusim doctor because simply one of my relatives says she (thinks) my daughter has symptoms or signs of atustic child  this relative she is not a doctor but she destroyed my happiness in a minute and then the second day without thinking I was checking her in atusim clinic . When I was there I am hundred percent sure I was the one who put words in docto' mouth   about my daughter atustic signs and you know the rest of the story  but now the main question what is next so to help you helping me I will make my long story short  so the most important question is what is my daughter encountering ?

As conclusion the following signs is the following

1- Stearing nowhere couple of times a day  sometime 4 times a day 7  or 10 like this but stearing for less than a minute each time
2-  late if specking  knowing since 6 months after I sent her preschool she starts to express her self and she is able to ask for most of her needs
3- she learned using toilet alone
4-she knows most of the  roads in my area  
5- she is difficult sometimes when comes to food you must push her to eat and so many times she eats alone
6-she is very very much happy child  she talks to anyone plays with anyone she ask to take her some places where she knows she can meet with other family to play and in that family she memories all that family members
7- she likes coloring the  most but she plays with sommany things eles
8- when she was 3 years old she memories all english from a to z
9 - important notice when she plays with something sometime I can tell as she doesn't tgive attention to her surrounding environment  but now adays she is doing better with this point but still
10 - if she see me as I am working nught shift she shows a highly happiness feeling and she kiss me and never leave me and she put her eyes in me wherever I go at home but if I leave her she start to behave weried and angry shouting  in this point I don't know how to explain its not only crying or shows madness reaction it's really pain for her

After I said that what I suppose to do  should I go atusim doctor if not where to go

[allmymarbles]

Different doctors have given you different diagnoses. What this tells us is that doctors are not infallible, especially when it comes to non-physical conditions.

You are a very loving father and are upset. So the first thing you have to do when considering your daughter's condition is to sit back and relax. Now ask yourself these questions:

Is your daughter a relatively happy child?
Does she have friends that she plays with?
Is she doing reasonably well at school?
Is she relatively obedient?
Is she affectionate?

If "yes" to all of them, so far so good.

Now, as to her getting mad, you said she does that when you don't give her what she wants. We call that a tantrum, and I am sorry to say that she has probably learned that from you. She knows that if she throws a tantrum, you give in, so like many smart kids, she throws a tantrum. The way to correct that behavior is to ignore the tantrums and not give in, no matter how mad or how noisy she gets.

If any of this has been helpful, there may more suggestions. Remember to stay calm.

[specialmom]

Are they checking her for seizures?  that makes sense with the staring off which is a common sign of that.  but they found nothing?  

I'm a little confused.  Are they wondering if she has a seizure disorder?

[mustik]

What I can say for a doctor would ask for brain scan . One of the  signs  of yildiz that she steering nowhere for a minute or less than a minute couple of times every day  but when we done for her magnetic electric scan  her doctor (other doctor) he said after this scan as far no explanation why she is steering let me say out of the scan test she 8s encountering slow waves in her front brain " to honest with you " I did not believe this doctor also did not read the test right  , this doctor who prescribed lemictal for her which I stopped on my own responsibility simply I don't believe in him . What is going now with yildiz , she has better and better eye conract she start to talk  start to express her self better  she is less active like  before knowing she was hyperactive before   but she still steering no where and I can tell she acts very mad sometimes  I said very mad really very mad if she wants something and you don't give her

[Sandman2]

   I have never seen any evidence that a brain scan can be used to detect autism.  That would make me suspicious of the doctor.
   If you google Lemictal, I have no idea why any doctor would prescribe that for a child with the conditions you describe.
   It seems like the problems have just started to happen recently?  That basically she wants to always be with you.  Will not accept No as an answer.  
   This sounds like what we call the "terrible 3's" . Its pretty common.  The child wants to have her way.  It has nothing to do with Autism.  As Specialmom said, " Or is it just that she is not getting what she wants (in which case, that is real life and something that we all need to deal with and teach our children to deal with)?"
   By the way, we also see this happening if there is a new, younger child in the house.  Does she have a little brother or sister?

[mustik]

  Thanks a lot for the time you gave to answer such a question , I am being her father not her mother .

It is  a long story ,  since Yildiz ( my daughter name)  was born  my life has been totally changed , this is my second marriage  i am saying that for you to understand the environment  around Yildiz , her mother is foreigner  , unfortunately she does not care about her as mother suppose to do so I carried both responsibilities being father and mother      , since I gave a visit to my sister home to the first time with Yildiz, my sister  called me the second day to tell me that she notice Yildiz as she has signs of atusim ?!  she explained atusim for me as it was just something I heard about but don't know anything about it  ,in that day Yildiz was 30 months old , I remember that i collapsed in the street , crying for more than hour alone in my car , I had a lady she is running my business I called her and i hold my  tears and said to her we must solve her problem , notice in that moment I became hypersensitive regards Yildiz my love to her became pleasure with sever pain , second day I consult Yildiz Dr and told me that since Yildiz born he is her Dr and I must not think of atusim but I insist to check , he gave me a doctor name specialist with atusim , I went to his clinic to be shocked with his reaction in 10 minutes was that Yildiz has atusim  and we must do for her hearing test and and electroencephalography   and multi slide scan for the brain , notice now what I will say , I notice from this doctor two things he is seeking for money and he is now knowledgeable but I followed the second day and went to make hearing test , in that hearing test clinic I found old wise dr there after he checked her hearing which was perfect and after I explained for him why I am doing this test , he advised me to go home and forget this issue insuring me that Yildiz is free of atusim   then I was not satisfied and I gave a visit for her Dr , he said the same , i felt i am on the top of the world but starting to notice every move of her and more i read in the interment more confused i became  , but when she was 3 years old I sent her to preschool but i visit one Dr specialist in nerves and brain he asked me to make electroencephalography and he said that Yildiz might encountred slow wave in her front brain thats why she is steering for a minute  and gave her medicine called lemictal  , i gave it for her first month 25 mg then the second visit 50 gm after a month , i notice she start to reject eating so that I stopped the medicine and believed I must let he live normal and listen to her Dr , in her preschool , Yildiz satrt to talk  not as I wish but enough to understand her basic needs , start to communicate , start to have better  eye contact ,  for a year I lived with her a very beautiful time but since three weeks she started to have a very bad mood , she stop let me go any place , you cant say no for any thing she might ask for , now I start again worried, crying for her , confused what to do , i swear I cant breath , should I go back to atusim Dr

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, you sound like such a nice and good mom.  I really appreciate your level of commitment to your child and think it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job.  It's certainly hard work!  I know that.  I have two boys.   My older son has sensory integration disorder and also had some speech issues and poor eye contact especially with adults.  He had various other things to go along with his sensory issues but they were subtle.  Enough that I noticed some things but hard to diagnose.  When he was 4 and in preschool, it became more clear and our pediatrician and an occupational therapist team diagnosed him with sensory integration disorder.  This was really great for us because we had a clear cut plan then of how to help him.

He had issues with modulation/regulation which resulted in meltdowns and behavioral issues.  Is that what you are seeing?  Or is it just that she is not getting what she wants (in which case, that is real life and something that we all need to deal with and teach our children to deal with)?  It's hard to tell sometimes.  As I said, I had two kids and one was dealing with sensory.  His meltdowns were a bit different.  They made less sense, lasted a long time, and he seemed unreasonable.  My younger son just melted down to get his own way but got over it fairly quickly.  

I guess to be safe, I'd ask you to check out this web site called SensoryProcessingDisorder.  Sensory and autism have some similarities and while my son is not autistic, he has sensory and the same symptoms you talk about with your daughter.  his issues got much much better when we knew how to work on it.  So, I'd get that off my list of possibilities before anything else.

As something that helps with kids that have outbursts with not getting their way or what they want, a good plan is to offer choices.  Do you want orange juice or apple juice?  In this cup or that cup?  Lots and lots of little choices and then they feel like they have some control and are less likely to become emotional or frustrated.  You have the ultimate control as you control the choices.  

Let me know if any of this doesn't make sense.  But you sound like a thoughtful mom doing a good job.  peace