how do i stop my child eating so much junk

[duffhomer]

hi all,we have a 11 year old son that we have always allowed him to help himself to snacks etc from the cupboard,which has never been a problem untill the past year and he has put on a lot of weight,my wife refuses to stop buying it (making it unavailable) as we need it for lunchboxes etc.
i have spoken to him many times as eating all this junk is not good for him,but he continues anyway.i have thought about putting locks on the cupboard doors to stop him,but that just doesnt seen right,but i dont know where else to go.we always have healthy food he can get to,but thats not wanted.
hopefully someone has had the same type of thing and can help me out on this one,as im getting rather concerned about my sons health and weight.thanks all

[mombojombo]

Kids are so much more sedentary these days than ever before.  My kids have friends that almost refuse to break a sweat!  Kids used to play outside for hours, running, climbing, swinging, bike riding, etc.  Now, they may do one organized sport a couple times a week and other than that, work out their thumbs on video games.  I really think it helps to take an active stance as a family and adopt an active lifestyle.  The whole family can go for walks, long hikes on weekends, swimming, biking, etc.  Mom and dad doing it too is perfect as they are primary role models.  Light weights around the house.  And the great trick of saying kids can't play any video games until they complete the set work out routine.  We know a boy that can do 100 perfect push ups no problem as it is his requirement to have electronics for the day.  My kids are very active and we still have to enforce get outside and run rules!  So, this really helps in my opinion with all things such as better production of home work, better rounded kids and more healthy overall (including proper weight).  

Food is tricky.  Sugar is addicting, it's been proven.  Once someone cuts back on sugar, they notice how sweet things really are!  My own picky child can send me over the edge.  Two things help---  sticking to my guns and his desire to be a better athlete.  Yes, it's easy to buy those prepackaged snacks.  But if you buy one box to get through the week and tell them that if it is eaten, tough luck. You'll get carrots for your sweet treat.  Then maybe your son will not run through a box of snacks so quickly.  Those are empty, wasted calories anyway and food is fuel.  My son, when I'm sticking to my guns, will refuse to eat some things that are his healthier options.  At first I had fears he'd be hungry.  Then I realized that if he's hungry, he'll eat what he's given/allowed.  I do not buy the junk and he'll then turn to cheese sticks, fruit, low sugar peanut butter on whole wheat crackers.  Sticking to my guns is hard.  It's easier not to, frankly.  The second thing is when a child has a reason that THEY acknowledge to eat better.  My son has gotten very proficient in a sport that he would like to take it to the next level.  His coach has talked to him/the team about proper eating.  This is motivating to my son.  You simply can't perform your best if you are not eating right.  So, whatever a reason is for your child, capitalize on it.  My friend's son whose weight was creepy up was called some not so nice names on the bus and was upset. He didn't like how the extra weight made him a bullying target. While that should NEVER happen, it made him aware of what he was eating.  

It's difficult navigating things.   I don't judge anyone for their eating habits!  My kids would lean to massively unhealthy eaters but while I have control, I try to guide them.  

good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

First, you say he's gaining weight.  Do you know for a fact that he is overweight?  Has this been confirmed by a weight/height chart or his doctor?

A growing boy will eat.  It does make sense to have only healthy things around (and a lot of them) for him to eat.

By healthy, I mean, he needs a sandwich in his lunch, he does not need a sack of chips in his lunch.  Just today I packed this in my son's lunch: a tuna sandwich, a little container of black olives (easy to do, just get a can of them and have them in the fridge and put about ten in a baggie), apple slices, milk, and a fortune cookie.  The kids also take "snack" to school, his snack was hardtack, beef jerky, and apple slices.  As you can see, it's food, it's not junk.  One fortune cookie is fine, corn curls, Doritos, chips, Oreos, granola bars, trail mix with chocolate chips, etc. are not fine.

Anyway, if your wife can't think of things for him to have in his lunch that aren't just a lot of gratuitous carbs, then you should do some thinking together about lunches and snacks and what to have on hand.  

Two other people will be important to this conversation.  One is your son.  He doesn't want to get fat.  It is actually more important to him than it is to you, unless you are morbidly obsessive about weight gain and he is trying to ignore you (which can happen to kids whose parents -- often moms -- are really uptight about weight).

The other person who should be included in the conversation is your son's doctor.  If the doc says your son is not overweight, your son is not overweight.  If he says your son is on the edge, let him and your son talk, and even leave the room.  Your son probably has a concern if so, and doesn't want to be humiliated by you being in there saying by your attitude that you told him so.  

My son is 10, and he won't let me add too much to his lunch or snacks that he deems too sugary or just empty calories.  He takes it seriously because the kids at school are not shy about pointing out others who they think are fat, and he doesn't want to be on the receiving end of that.  As any of us could agree, what our peers think of how we look is often a pretty important reason we try to look certain ways.  Let your son be his own guide regarding this.

One last thing is that you should look up the new research where they have found out that all these years of "low fat" diets are probably why America has an obesity epidemic.  For 20 or 30 years or more, people have thought fat was the bad actor and carbs were OK.  But it turns out that sugar and carbs are way more damaging than fats.  If you son is in the throes of cravings, try feeding him a higher-fat diet.  We drink whole milk and be sure to get at least a tablespoonful of olive oil in our diet every day, we don't hesitate to eat cheese, and we do really hesitate at things like doughnuts and cupcakes and even breakfast cereal.  It seems to keep the cravings down for my son.

Good luck.  Try to do this together with your wife, don't make it a power struggle.

Other handy things to have around for after-school snacking -- pre-washed sugar snap peas, pre-washed carrot and celery sticks, blueberries, pretzels, ham chunks, cold cuts, milk.

[AnnieBrooke]

ps -- All of this advice on the mechanics of not having junk food around overlooks another possibility.  Sometimes people overeat to fill an emotional void.  Is he doing OK at school, with friends, and in the family?  Are you and your wife doing OK?  He could be eating as a coping mechanism and for self-comfort if things aren't OK in his life.

[ShunteaB]

Sit your wife down, put your foot down and say no more! When I was reading  the post I thought you was going to eventually venture into he gets it from school, another family members house, neighbor, Granny/Grandpa, a close friends house or something. He's getting it from home, sir (or in this day and time ma'am). Stop buying so much at one time. If buying in bulk is cheaper, go shopping WITHOUT your children, buy a lock, put it in a tote, and lock it in YOUR bedroom closet, then put a lock on your bedroom door and you issue them out! Problem will be solved, at home anyway.

OR you can do like my mom did with me and my brother, take the kids with you to the store, buy in bulk, put them in the cupboard and DARE one of them to take anything out the kitchen without permission, and see what happens. Well... Don't do that, you'll probably be arrested for child threatening or some law they've passed that makes it illegal to discipline your children. Lol. And you know I'm telling you the truth. Lol.

Tho my mother was proactive with the snacks, we did get rather hefty off of soul food because we didn't leave the table until it was ALL gone. We had no room for snacks. Lol... Especially when she made field peas, yuck! I remember falling asleep at the table in front of those. But guess what, she'd come and tell me to go to bed for school around 8:30pm, mind you dinner was at 5pm. Lol.

The next morning, guess what was for breakfast, those same field peas I mashed up to make it look like I at some... lol... Long story short, I just said the hell with it and I'd gobble them down and chase it with the mac and chese, because we wasn't allowed to get our drink until all our food was gone. Now that should have been child abuse! Lol!

But anyways, I'm off subject! Bottom line, don't feel bad because your restricting junkfood, that's your job as a parent! And stop allowing your children to assume they can have what they want when they want, YOUR the ADULT and I'm sure the children dont pay any bills nor the grocery bill! You look them in the eye and say "you eat what I give you" lol... Well... Don't do that one either, they'll go to school and say they didn't eat and they'll come up to your job and arrest you for 27 counts of child neglect... LOL!

One thing my mom did that cut down on snacking and portion control. She allowed (made) us help her cook meals. Something about cooking makes you eat less, she'd always say. And to mm this day it's true! Hope I helped!