how to disipline?

[momcrazy]

My 4-year-old daughter has a bit of a temper. She gets mad a lot from just about anything. I try to tell her it's okay to be mad but, should I put her in time-out for yelling? What can she do to when she's angry, that isn't bad behavior? If I say it's okay for her to be mad and then put her in time-out, that's telling her she's being punished for being mad. She hits me when she's mad which I know is wrong, and I do punish her. But can anyone tell me how to teach your child to mantain their anger and help them find a way to work through it?

[jd1419]

You can also suggest that it is okay for her to be mad but if she is going to yell she needs to go in her room or even the bathroom with the door closed.  That way she can release her frustrations and you don't have to sit and listen to her.  My son who is almost five if we are outside actually is the opposite he gets mad and says he doesn't like us and then goes off to a quiet spot to pout.  I usually just leave him alone and in a few minutes he is back and ready to play and be apart of everything.  There are times though that they do test your patience and limits before you-yourself lose your cool...sometimes I do.  I then let them know that what mom did was wrong and that she should of went somewhere else to yell.  I do apologize but I then also explain that what they were doing was not good behavior and that it upset me very much.

[mommyof2boys35]

My son is in counceling for his temper and inability to control his anger, he is 5.  He was physically abused by his father and is holding in all that resentment and anger and he lashes out on me, I'm the only one he can. (I'm not saying that's what your daughter is doing).
What I tell my son is that when he's mad or angry he needs to tell me so we can talk about it, its hard for him to understand and he doesn't always do it, he'll resort to yelling, hitting, swearing etc.  I also tell him its ok to be mad upset or angry but the way he deals with it is not ok.  When I disipline him for it, I tell him he's not being disiplined for being upset, he's being disiplined for how he acted or what he did as  a result.  After his time out I sit with him and talk to him about it and keep reminding him that he needs to come talk to me or tell me when he's upset so we can make it better.  He's starting to understand a little bit, but it takes time for them to learn about their feelings and how to control them.