how to form a strong bond with 9yo daughter who I am discipling more then ever

I have a very strong bond with my mom and have always imagined a strong bond with my nine year old daughter, but I feel that I am always either lecturing her, restricting her, helping with homework etc.  Her dad passed away 4 years ago so I play both the good and bad guy(lately more bad guy)  I also have a five year old so life gets tough.  I am worried I will never be able to form that kind of relationship with her.  She is a good kid but when she is being good she wants to play outdoors with friends or with her brother.  I have asked her if she  wants to play a game with me or do something else and she would rather do something else. Am I just being paranoyd or does anyone have any tips on balancing this?    

[mommie29]

Don't worry I think every parent and child goes through this at one time or another. I believe that your bond will come in time.She is just growing up. Girls will always need their mothers no matter how much she doesn't show it now. good luck.

[margypops]

Instead of asking her to play get out the game and you instigate it,I am sorry that you had the loss of her Dad that must have been tough on you and her, and whilst as you say you have to be Dad and Mom it is good to focus on her positive behavior and Praise her when you catch her doing something good, children respond in kind, if you relax on the rules and try to have more fun you will feel closer to her, Take the children out to parks and make sure they have plenty of outside activities..