how to handle weird temper tantrums

at a family part in early december, my 2 year old son, was playing with his cousin who is 7, she picked him up, and he yelled out "OW" I don't think he was hurt, I never heard him say ow before, and she wasnt doing anything that would hurt him well his cousins mother totaly overreacted she grabbed her daughter and slapped her, and screamed at her for hurting my son

since then my son says "ow" anytime he doesnt get what he wants, he has even started hitting who ever wasnt giving him the thing, or he hits himself...these hits are very light and don't hurt, but I am afraid that they could lead to worse behavior

My husband and I disagree on how to disipline. I thought just ignoring him would make it go away, but the problem is he gets lots of attention from other people, he is very good at sounding hurt I can't convince my extended family to ignore it,my sister thinks it is cute and laughs, and I get the nastiest looks from people in the mall...I was in a store when he took a toy off of the shelf when he wouldnt put it back, I took it from him, he yelled "ouch!" followed by some convincing tears, and a woman came up to me and yelled at me for hitting him...I would never hit him, we do the time out type of disciple, my husband thinks we should put him in time out everytime he does it.

after over a month, my husband is starting to convince me that maybe his way will work. it would mean a lot of time in time out, as he does this often

thank you for any advice I am at my wits end

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Machris,

I think the facts speak for themselves - i.e., you have attempted to ignore the behavior, but the behavior persists. Children as young as your son need very consistent responses to behavior. I endorse your husband's suggestion. The behavior needs to be responded to in precisely the same manner each time it occurs. Dr. KDK