i am worried about my three years old daughter she is afraid of telephone ring

hello doctor,
              my daughter is three years old and she is very very bright for her age.as she know 3 language she counts till 100 and she write till 20.she know more than 30 poems in english and in romanian she knows to write n to speak all alphabates.but now from fe days she is scred of everything of telephone ring,she don;t wanna sleep alone in day time she is afraid of being alone in other room and she cry non stop.i never left her alone only 2 weeks back i was having appiotment with dentist n i told her i will be back in 15 min n put cartoon channel she said she can stay alone n will not be afraid.but it took 2 and half hours till i reach home but in this time i try to call her n to ask how she is?so she use to pick phone n didn;t said anything,but after my third call she start crying a lot n when i reach home she was crying non stop n she gave me the reason telephone was ringing n she was not able to reply n she got scared.but know she is getting scared if dogs bark or phone ring i am very much worried about her.plz help me doctor is it normal to be scared of such things at her age?i will be very thankful to you.
         anam

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Was your daughter displaying such fear/anxiety before the episode when you went to the dentist? It certainly sounds like the experience of having been left alone was traumatic for her, and it would not be surprising at all if a child became very frightened at such an event. As you probably now know, it's never a good idea to leave a child alone at that young age. If you had no sitter available, it would have been better to bring her along or change the appointment. If she was normal before the event, she will likely return to her baseline level of functioning, but expect that this will take a while after the trauma of having been left alone.

[babyprayers]

hold on .. you left your 3 year old daughter home alone.. are you for real???

[babyprayers]

and another thing the use of N instead of and, is a teenager thing not a foreign country communication barrier type thing good luck

[April2]

I'm sorry, I just had to write. I was absoloutely floored that you would consider leaving a three year old alone for any length of time, much less two and a half hours. What on earth where you thinking??!! Did you even consider the dangers of doing such a thing?! What if there had been a fire and no one knew there was a child in your home? What if she got scared and went looking for you? And worse what if someone had broken into your home and took your child? Do you think it can't happen? Check your news. There was an almost four year old little girl who was taken from her locked parents hotel room while they were vacationing in Portugal. The parents left the children sleeping thinking them ok while they went to go get a quick bite to eat. When they returned, she was missing. They now think she's been abducted.
You wonder why she's acting scared now of the phone and other things? She's probably been traumatized from being left alone that long. Two and a half hours is a long time for a three year old.
I am not a doctor but I am a lisenced family child care provider trained in early childhood development. If I knew where you were I'd report you to child protective services. Most states have laws how old your child can be before being left alone. Ours is ten years old, I believe. That may sound harsh and I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to protect that precious little girl. Please don't EVER, EVER leave your child alone again.

[onroute]

I think I understand possibly why you did leave your child alone...but not sure and my guess is that she is so bright and intelligent like a 10 yr old.  Am I right.  If she does all those things that an 8 - 10 yr old does maybe that could be the reason.  I have real emails and they seem to be  harsh and concerned for child but I do have compassion for you as well.  Nobody is perfect and we dont know All the everythings about this situation.  So.....I want to say that you are not perfect and neither is anybody else.  

I would, in my opionion, and I am not a doctor or a physchologist, but I would take her to a person where they deal with trauma for children concerning her fears etc.  She might have had some "panic" syndrome going on in that she was so  young in dealing with all this herself.  Get her help and talk to her and she if she can communicate her fears.  Yet maybe leave that to a professinal doc.  Assure her..that she is safe and she does not have to deal with things all on her own...that you are there with her to help her.  When the phone rings assure her she is safe...or when others things happen that makes her afraid.
But definitely get professional help.  I believe we care about you and your daughter but sometimes it is shown in maybe not the right ways.  LOVE is patient and LOVE is kind.

Again get  help and dont let this slide even if she if doing better.  If there is a trauma (which I believe it is) then this has to be dealt with.  Blessing to you and your little daughter.

[anam]

thanks for all comments but in three years of her life i never ever left her for one second alone.i know so many parents here who close there children all day home and go to their work.i was not knowing that it will take more then 15 min to take x-ray and the dentist clinic is 5 min walk from my house.But that dentist send me to other person and he took so much time.i am very thankful that GOD gave me wonderful daughter and i am very proud of her.If someone is thinking that i am bad  mother but everything she knows today she learn from me.She will go to kinder garden from this year.Sorry to say but there was some harsh comments.In this country we are alone but our neghibours  are like family and they help me lot.As they all are proud of her and everyone love her as their own grandchild and daughter.Thanks a lot for everyone comments and MAY GOD BLESS u all.

[shawnys_grl]

I would also imagine the word "wanna" is also more of a teenage thing, rather than  language barrier.  

Honestly, I'm sorry, but I can't believe this is real.  And if it is, PLEASE don't leave your 3 year old home alone ever again!!   That ONE time may have traumatized and damaged her for a very, very long time!

[April2]

I'm sorry if I seemed too harsh. Maybe they do things differently in other countries but it's just so dangerous to leave such a young child alone. My heart just broke when I heard about that little british girl  that was abducted in Portugal (her name is Madaline Mcann if anyone wants to find the story). Her family's lives have been shattered. They will never be the same again. I just wouldn't want that to happen to you or anyone.
I'm sure you really did think you'd only be a few minutes, but now you can see how things can happen. I can understand being tempted to leave if it's only a few minutes. I know I've been tempted to leave my little one in his car seat when he's sleeping or something so I can dash into a store or something. I've been tempted but I've never done it and I never will. I just don't want to risk someone stealing my baby. I'd rather be inconvenienced and keep him safe. It's just not worth the risk.
You sound like you really do love your little girl. We all make mistakes. As long as we learn from our mistakes then that's how we grow. I'm glad everything worked out ok. Just give her lot's of reassurance, love and cuddles. Children need to feel secure. Just be patient and give her some time. She'll come around to her old self again. God bless.

[faeriemoo]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/6627605.stm

Read THAT, and then ******* think twice about leaving a three year old alone for ANY length of time.

Some people are too stupid for words. You disgust me.

[girlybuff]

At 3 she doesn't know how to care for herself at all no matter how mature you think she is and a child that age has no ceonception of time.  If you left her for what you thought was 15 minutes your *** should have gone home as soon as you realized it would be for a longer period of time.  
To me, this is negelct no matter what country you're from.  If your neighbors are "proud of her" and are like family then you should have asked one of them to sit with her.
How dare you... I don't really care if you feel people are judging you here for this post.  We are.  We should be.
Never do it again.  If I knew who you were and where you lived I would call CPS on you and report you to make sure you never did it again and especially since your attitude is so flippant about it all.
Get a grip on reality.
I bet you leave her in the car with the windows rolled up too as you "run" into the store.......

[girlybuff]

And another thing... if you said you would be home in 15 minutes and she had even a small conception of time and then you took 3 hours she probably thinks you're a liar and doesn't believe you anymore.  That is why she is afraid when the phone rings.  Even if she doesn't know how to tell time she probably knows 15 minutes vs. 3 hours.
You need to get her into therapy and then get yourself to a parenting class immediately.

[April2]

I tend to agree with a couple of others on here. I have a feeling this may be a made up story. But I'm taking it all with a grain of salt. Hopefully this mother learned her lesson and won't do something like this again. Unfortunately little Maddy's parents had to learn this lesson the hard way.

[girlybuff]

Unfortunately it might not be made up.  There are all types of people out there.  If it is made up, then I'm glad but if it's not, it's scary.
Maddie's parents have to live with themselves for the rest of their lives.  I am not blaming them per se but all it takes is one bad judgment call and something bad can happen.
I hope they find her alive and unharmed.
  

[April2]

Amen.