i dont knwo how to handle this.

[boosty]

i dont know what to do. i am 7 months pregnant and have a 3 year old daughter. we are renting a house and the owner of the house is forclosing on the house meaning we have to move. i just found a new home for my dog that we have had for 4 months. my daughter is a bit torn about it. she never played with the dog or anything, but it broke her heart to watch him go. and i wanted her to be there to say goodbye because i didnt want to lie to her. the problem is that this is not the first time this has happened. we had a little dog before this one that we also had to get rid of because for some reason, he was giving me real bad allergies in the beginnning of my pregnnacy and my doctor said that i should get rid of him. so this is two dogs that she watched go away. i am thinking that she has no trust in us keeping a dog anymore. i am not planning on getting a dog because we are looking to rent an apartment now. we gave our dog away an hour ago and now my daughter is in bed. and i hear her through the monitor as i am typing this. shes whispering the dogs name and whining a bit. i just spent thirty minutes talking about the dog to her. but i dont know what else i should do.

[teaandtoads]

Just a thought.  Why not have her make a card.  You can even write a message in the card and then actually send the card.  Not to the new owners but maybe somebody elso who could then write back saying what the dog is doing.  You and your daughter would be spending time together doing a grown up activity-writing a letter.  And how cool is it to get mail!.  and then stick to goldfish.:)

[RockRose]

boosty,  I think her reaction is completely normal and healthy.  You wouldn't want her to not care that the dog is gone - you want a child who,  although she didn't play with the dog much,  had warm feelings of attachment and grieves a little when the dog is gone.

I wonder why you didn't just get an apartment that allows dogs?

[boosty]

right now, my credit isnt good, so i was lucky to find an apartment that allowed us. so i didnt have a choice . the letter thing is a great idea. i will do that. i wonder if getting her a bunny or something is bad right now or what. cause i dont want her to think its ok to let go of a family member and responsibility and replace with another . you know? so i have been fighting that thought. she hasnt mentioned the dog today. i am afraid she'll learn to not attach herself and be irresponsible .

[musicmama]

Another way to say good-bye is to get a helium balloon, write a message to the dog on the balloon, and let it go.  My adopted kids did this for every member of their family that they couldn't spend Christmas with.  It created closure.  

You mentioned a bunny.  Bunnies are smelly and quite messy. . .probably more so than dogs.  Also with the pregnancy, something simple would be good.  A fish might suit you for now.  At her age, other small animals like hamsters and hermit crabs might be too fragile or could hurt her.

It is sad that children have to learn about loss.  I think learning about loss is an important part of life.  

Good luck and God bless.

[boosty]

the problem with this "loss" is that i dont want her to learn that irresponsibility. the dog didnt pass away or anything. we just had to get rid of him and since shes seen it before, i didnt want her to learn to be emotionally detached.we ended up getting her a small dwarf bunny. we brought it home a couple of hours ago. i went through detail with my daughter on how to clean up after it, feed it and love it. and shes doing great so far. heres a picture. i just want her to feel responsible. i will add the picture to my photos. check it out.

[Agiesmom]

I have a friend whose neighbor has had so many animals and you are smart to not want to send the message to your daughter that they are replaceable or you just get rid of them if they aren't convenient.  I would wait until you were absolutely certain that you are going to keep the animal and give it lots of love and attention until it dies of old age.  I have found that pocket pets (hamsters, rats, etc.) are just as much (if not more) work and as big a commitment as a dog or cat.  And I wouldn't get a bunny.  I had two as a child and they were both squirmy and scratched a lot and the hutch needed to be cleaned frequently and was really smelly when it needed to be cleaned.  Are you going to have time to care for an animal being pregnant and then having a newborn?  Even the fish tank we have needs to be cleaned and the water needs to be tested and treated and changed, etc.

If I were you, I'd just focus on settling into your new home and maybe volunteer at the animal shelter/humane society--take your daughter and go and play with the dogs one afternoon a week (they would love to have you do that as many dogs don't even get out of their cages daily)...you could even volunteer to foster dogs and cats who are waiting for a new home or were recently spayed or neutered, etc.

Best of luck to you!

[Agiesmom]

Oops...scratch the fostering idea for now (forgot you can't have them at your new apartment).

[boosty]

well, i have the bunny now. its been a few days and were doing great. maintenance is not bad, no  smell at all what so ever. the cage takes up some room, but thats it. my duaghter has learned to feed it and change the water everyday and i clean the cage twice a week thats the plan. its not bad at all . we bought a cage thats easy to clean. my daughter loooooooooooves it. we should have gotten a bunny in the first place. it does scratch a bit, but only if you hold him wrong and my daughter doesnt like holding him anyway. she just wants to take care of him and pet him.