i need your help real bad

i am having a  problem. my daughter who is two years old, has been screaming and talking in her sleep all throughout the night and i dont knwo what to do. i knwo it may just be night terrors or night mares. but she calls me screaming and i am out of ideas what to do. when i go in there to calm her, she WILL NOT want to go back to her crib again. and she seems really angry while asleep. its been two weeks that her sleep schedule has been less because i have been draggin her to a hotel and a family party so shes been up longer and its bothered her. but in these past two to three weeks, she loves the word "no" so she constantly says no to everything and in her dreams at night, thats what shes doing too. so i feel like its my fault for making her want to eat or whatever during the day that she might feel so angry when shes in bed. i dont know what it is. overall, she is a very sweet and calm little girl. very smart and already says like five word sentences. but mixed up ofcourse. and her two hour nap during the day has turned to one hour if she decides to sleep at all. i try to calmly play with her or take her to the park so she gets more tired and will sleep better but it doesnt work. she is not a very mooshy type of girl either. she wont let me hold her. unless she wants to. anyway, i dont know what to do and why my daughter has gotten so angry . she will not even look or talk to my mom which is her grandma. and nothing has changed at all in our house for her to act different. any advice will help..thank you.
vista

[anxiousmomtobe?]

She may be finished with napping.  I now my daughter was done shortly after 2.  Try not puttin her down for a nap for a few days and see if her evening sleep is better.

Two year olds are angry a lot of the time.  Chances are you have done absolutely nothing wrong and this is a phase she will outgrow very soon.  Try not to take it personally.

[jd1419]

You said her routine has changed with family parties and going to the hotel to see family lately--Maybe with all the staying up longer than normal it has upset her whole balance of things and now she is just over tired and can't control it any longer.  

I know it is hard when family comes to town allthe adults want to catch up and talk but sometimes we forget all the little ones need to keep to their schedules.

Maybe try for the next week to get back into a routine of waking at the same time each day, laying down at the same time, eating and all the good stuff and see if that helps her to relax and calm down.  Maybe she just needs a routine again that will help her know exactly what is going to happen in her day.

[Trialanderror]

Some small children just need their routine and take offense if they are not sure if yet another visitor will take mom`s or dad`s full attention away from them. But there is also this transformation around 2 when they exercise their independence and develop their personalities to a T. The days when they are in pure amazement about everything in the world is sometimes replaced with anger. Also around that age they often start having their first nightmares plus it seems to be the age when they catch a lot of colds and other ailments. All of this combined with limited ability to communicate can build up but it is just part of a longer development. When my son hit that stage around 2.5,  I kept on looking for major causes but realized that it was just part of him trying to understand the world and its rules. Then, close to his 3rd birthday, suddenly all his the tension evaporated and he became more easygoing....for a while. Nowadays I try to just ride out the storm and be there for him. When we are travelling or in a different environment, I always make sure that we have a few books, snacks and toys that strongly remind him of his toddler years. It helps to reconnect. Good luck, there is so much to ponder....

[boosty]

thank you for your responds. but i havent had family over. i went to the hotel on the 21st of the month and since she wasnt used to sleeping our of her own bed, she couldnt sleep well that night and she stayed up till 11pm too. and the day after , she couldnt take her nap. and a couple of day later is when we were invited somewhere and we HAD to stay there til 10pm . usually she goes to bed at 7:30pm or 8pm NO MATTER WHAT. i am very strict with my rules cause they have worked for me. but now its been like two days that insstead of her getting her usual 12 hours of sleep overnight, she falls asleep later, and only gets 9 hours or less at night. and she still doesnt take her day time nap well . but i knwo shes tired. the angry nightmares stoped. i have tried to be calmer and more relaxed with her druing the day and if she doesnt want to eat or anything, i dont keep asking her or bothering her with her. overall, shes more relaxed so she doesnt seem that angry in bed. i dont know if thats because of that change. anyway, i just hate her sleep change trying to stay up longer at night at times and not taking her nap during the day makes her soooo scary sleepy at night.

[jac32]

I think perhaps its just a case of the 'terrible twos'. It seems that children display anger at this age and that its just a part of their development that we have to put up with! Horrible though it may seem. My daughter was very angry at that age too, and at 6 years old now, she still occasionally has horrible angry tantrums. As far as the sleep thing goes, I agree with the above about perhaps leaving out the afternoon nap, maybe she just doesn't need it anymore and as a result of sleeping in the afternoon, is not tired enough at night. The key is routine i feel, kids need to know whats going to happen, they don't like disruption. Keep calm, and try and instill some strict bedtime routines. (Lavender oil also helps aid restful sleep, try a few drops of lavender oil on the bedclothes)