i'm going MAD!

i am 26. and i have a two year old daughter. up until she turned 15 months, she would sleep well at night and eat very well. from then on, she has been waking up several times a night. she REFUSES TO EAT. i dont give her junk food or anythign for her to nto want to eat her food. and as i am typing this, she has been screaming in bed and wont even go to sleep . i took her out of her bed two times already to calm her down. some people say dont go to them when they are crying in bed but i know my daughter and she just doesnt scream and cry unless she is really upset or something bothers her. she is not sick or anything. i took her for her check up last week. so i know shes fine. i have been sleepless because of her for months now. she wakes up at 6:30am and takes one nap during daytime for about an hour and a half or two and she goes to bed usually without a problem at 7:30pm. usually going to bed is easy (except for tonight) but she wakes up all the time in the middle of the night and even though i know its wrong, the one think i have been doing these past months is to feed her some milk when she wakes up at night. that will put her back to sleep. i cant say thats why she wakes up because some nights she will sleep without it. and unless i go in and do something with her many times during the night, she just WILL NOT go back to sleep. help me. please any advice will work. she is usually a very calm and sweet little girl. her new favorite word is "no" so its no to everything. sometimes in her sleep, she talks and says "no". how do i make her sleep through out the night?

[jd1419]

I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you.  Maybe the reason she is waking is just a grwoth spurt and the next few weeks she will grow out of it.  I would stop giving her milk in the middle of the night though---bad for her teeth-the sugars in milk--If she really wants something to drink then water---Other than that I hope you can get some rest--can she go and sleep at someones house like grandma and grandpa so you can have one good nights rest?

[jd1419]

I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you.  Maybe the reason she is waking is just a grwoth spurt and the next few weeks she will grow out of it.  I would stop giving her milk in the middle of the night though---bad for her teeth-the sugars in milk--If she really wants something to drink then water---Other than that I hope you can get some rest--can she go and sleep at someones house like grandma and grandpa so you can have one good nights rest?

[boosty]

thank you for the advice. since nothing will allow her to go back to sleep, i dont know how to cut the milk thing out. i know its hard, but she just wont go back to sleep. unfortunatelly, i dont have anyone to help me out . my mom lives with me and my husband. and the thing with my daughter is, is that she only wants me to do things for her. i hate that.

[Trialanderror]

Not sure if she is getting her molars around that age? Not sure if it is the second or third stage of separation anxiety? But it also sounds like she is starting the "terrific twos" when it is interesting to see if Mom will hop at every command. You can give her some attention when she wakes up the first time after she had fallen asleep to reassure her, just in case, for a while and also for the first wake-up. But let her get back to sleep on her own during the night. Eventually she may only need either the bedtime or the morning assurance. As long as she learns that at least one of her wake-up times you are not coming, she will understand that there are limits. And, yes, there are a few things like wearing seat belts and drinking nothing but water during the night that should not be up for discussion. I am talking from bad experience...She may be used to milk during the day but maybe you can sell the idea of water to her and a cuddly blanket and music for night time. My son had a few phases like that. I was alost in tears some times because I work during the night and when the little voice woke me up after only 30 minutes of sleep I was tempted to roll in like a tank. Instead, though, I realized if I give him very loving attention if he first wakes up towards morning time, he does go back to sleep once more. Hang in there, it does get better, soon probably. And, yes, at night time they usually want mommy...you`ll feel honoured later.

[boosty]

thank you so much. i really love these advices. i will try it.

[momuv1]

I know you are having a hard time, and sleep is the WORST thing to be deprived of when you are a mom ( besides your little one!).  My advice to you is to be strong!  It's easier just to give her what she wants when it is the middle of the night, but believe me, in the long run, both you and she will be stronger if you stick to your guns!  Even if she cried for a bit, she will need to learn to sleep without the milk.  She will not die, and it IS okay to go in her room and let her know you are there.  Don't stay, though.  Just tell her you love her, it is bed time, and you'll see her in the morning.  What if you tried filling her bottle with water?  Maybe just the sucking calms her.  Also, with her not letting anyone else do anything for her, maybe getting a baby sitter for a few hours a night will let her see that it's okay for mommy not to be around for a little while, and that she really IS coming back.  Best of luck!!

[juR736]

Everything you have said is exactly the same stuff i am going through. My daugther is 2, and we havent slept properly for over a year, she wakes up every night without fail, sometimes we give her milk sometimes we dont need to. sometimes she cries and thrashes around, sometimes she talks and wants to get out, sometimes she just cries all the time and she wants my or my husband, and then when she gets one of us, she wants the other...its really hard. We have a bedtime routine and she has a daytime nap (not always though as sometimes she wont go to sleep!)...

Another mum i know is having the same thing....ive heard they grow out of it when they are about 3....so i just keep the night visits to a minimum, fuss free, get in and out as quick as you can and get back to bed, we let her cry sometimes and then she eventually goes back to sleep...sometimes we leave the light on, on the landing and her door open a bit....and that shuts her up!

you are not alone!...
Julia