interaction with friends

[gemm]

my little girl is just 5, and for the past few months I have been concerned about her behaviour when in the company of friends and their similar age children (ie:  visitors).  She used to be very shy and clingy and in recent months seems to have swayed to being very confident and bossy!  She gets upset if other children won't do things her way, and if she is not the centre of attention gets very stroppy and trys to gain attention in unsociable ways.  Sometimes she will pull away from the children and come and try to join the adult conversation.  I have another little girl 3 and a half who often plays better with the other children.  She starts school in 2 weeks and I'm concerned this behaviour will effect her ability to keep friends. I can I stop this destructive behaviour?

[Seanbanana]

atleast it sounds like she has high self esteem
high self esteem = confidence
confidence = chicks! err i mean "gorgeous guys"

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Children of this age are learning about social skills - it takes time. Try not to compare her with her sister. Children's development, including the development of social skills, does not proceed in precisely the same manner with all children. It is important to step in and manage the behavior if it is hurtful in any way. Bossiness in itself needn't be addressed beyong trying to offer a little guidance - just don't have unrealsitic expectations about how much she'll follow the guidance. If her behavior hurts others, of course you should set limits and discipline her. School will take care of itself; her teacher will help her. On the home/neighborhood front, perhaps it will be helpful for a while to have her play with only one child at a time. This will be less overwhelming for her, and it will permit greater ease in changing some of her behavior. If she pulls away from peers and tries to gravitate toward the adults, ask her what's the matter and what might make it better. Try not to rush in with answers or suggestions; allow her to address the situation, with your assistance.