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476624 tn?1207849958

is it a stage for 4 y.o. not to listed to teacher

Hi!! My daughter just turned 4 y.o. 2months ago. This is the first time her preschool teacher noticed my 4 y.o. throw toys and doesn't listen to her anymore. I am somewhat concern and hope this is just a phase. That day when her teacher said about her misbehaving, my daughter said she was upset with one of her classmate, i asked her in a calm voice by the way ("i was mad at him" - as stated by my daughter). There is this boy who's somewhat a bully (i noticed it when i spend a day in school with her for an activity), kinda rough. Is that part of her misbehavior. i don't mean to throw it out to someone but i just need an idea and info. This is my first born and i have a 5month old daughter. Does too much TV and games (wii) affect this behavior? That's pretty much the only change we have at home since we got the console 2 wks ago, it's like our family bonding time. By the way, after that incident, i had her grounded (no tv and wii game) until her next day of school (which is today), this happen 2days ago - so yday she never watch and play. Any input is very gladly appreciated.


This discussion is related to My 4 year old is does not listen to me or her pre-k teacher.
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476624 tn?1207849958
Thank you for the wonderful input. That makes me feel better.

I actually went to speak w/ her teacher today and said she's much better. I guess her ground yday of no TV and video games help (i hope that really helped). So, now since she did good in school today, i had her play with her video game x1 hour. And we watch dvd together with her favorite ice cream snack. The video game (wii) that she's playing is the wii sports by the way (tennis, baseball, and bowling is her favorite). We don't have fight video games yet (i guess we won't get it then).

Again, thanks.
Helpful - 0
171768 tn?1324230099
how long has she been in the class? all year?

children do get upset with other children, especially towards those who tend to be more aggressive (like the boy you describe). However, I have not seen an instance where it caused a child who previously had no problems to suddenly have extreme behaviors like throwing toys and not listening to the teacher. I would believe her if she threw the block at the bully, but you make it sound like it's more of a general problem.

Hopefully it's just a phase, but you also have to consider the possibility that something is bothering your daughter but she either can't express it or doesn't understand it. It's easy to say "i was mad at so-and-so."

work with her on expressing her feelings appropriately. Tell her it's ok to be mad, and that she can tell the teacher and her peer that she's angry. Role play using puppets and make up different scenarios. have her try to help the puppets solve their problems.  


too much TV definitely affects behavior, as does playing video games. of course, some games are worse than others. Any game that requires fighting in any form is not appropriate for such a young child. This includes non-realistic games like Smash Bros. What do you mean by "too much?" I would consider trying to find another way to bond with your family. total daily screen time (meaning TV, Computer, video game, etc...) should be no more than an hour a day.

one last thought to this rambling message (sorry- i'm wiped out). As a teacher I almost hesitate sometimes to report some incidents to certain parents. Some parents just get overly concerned about minor incidents no matter how I phrase it. The children are young and they do make mistakes. One incident does not mean it's a pattern.
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