is it normal girl kiss girl

[jessicajoes]

iv asked about this before and got no result but, my daughter has got really close to this other girl and yesterday she added this photo on facebook
is this alright

[jessicajoes]

she is 14 and im worried

[April2]

I think you should be talking to your daughter about this. It does seem to be the "in thing" among young teenage girls to experiment in this way. It doesn't necessarily mean she's gay. It's a good idea to talk to her and see what she says. Try and keep the communication lines open and make a practice of talking to her regularly about what's going on in her life, with school, friends, etc. Don't forget to talk to her about sex and drugs. It's kind of an ongoing process. Just a one time talk doesn't usually do it. Best wishes.

[k81990]

hi,
Im by all means NOT a doctor of any kind, in fact, im only 13.

this is fine. your daughters probably just experimenting. its just a phase she will go through, unless shes gay, or bi-sexual,, which remember is totally fine, its their choice, and whether you like it or not, she'll do what she wants

[akiki]

I would definitely set aside some time and talk to my child about this.  I would ask why, where she got that idea- or whose idea was this anyway.  If this was her idea- how did she got it - movies-urges?? If this was her friend's idea- was it something your daughter really wanted to do, and so on.. at this age especially, children are exposed to so many things and the world is going crazy anyway - I would like to make sure that my child is not under some pressure from her friends to do things that perhaps she doesn't want to do..  I would talk to her about it not once but many times and explain that just because anything seems possible - it doesn't mean we have to do everything - unless we are really 100% sure that this is what we want- and even then, we have to consider the consequences...Children now hear about too much too early and sometimes it is like bad language - they want to use it even before they know what it means.  It doesn't mean though, that we have to encourage it.  As parents we have to put a stop (or at least to try to put a stop ) to some behaviors.  We alse have to watch who our children hang out with.  I have no experience with gay behavior - but now people who are not gay at all try to do gay things - and it's nicely called experimenting..but what is the point of it?  So this is for you to decide what is your family like and what are you comfortable with and how you want to raise your child.  I think you should definitely talk to her, since the fact you are here confirms that you are not quite comfortable with what is happening.  

[specialmom]

As others have said, I would talk to your daughter about her feelings in a safe way.  We can't be our children's friends really (as we worry too much about them) but we can allow for safe, trusting and truthful communication.  I would try not to be judgemental as she may become defensive.  By the way, would it bother you if it were a boy?

One thing I would stress though.  This posting of pictures is out of hand.  I don't think kids realize that once posted, it is forever.  I'm totally against that.  I have a friend who's daughter posted all kinds of stuff on facebook while in college.  It got into the wrong hands.  She learned a lesson the hard way.  So as a parent, I would strongly discourage it.  Maybe I'm old fashioned about that (I'm in my 40's)-----  but yikes, I wouldn't want to see pictures of myself doing crazy stuff now and if I had posted it way back when-----  I could.  Just my opinion . . .

[Diva2317]

There's nothing wrong with being gay, and if she wants to be out of the closet about it, even on facebook, it's fine. I have pictures up of me kissing my husband on fb so what's the big deal if it's 2 people of the same gender? Only straight couples should have pictures of themselves kissing on fb? That doesnt make sense.  If her account is locked then she can monitor who can and cannot see her pictures. They won't fall into the wrong hands if she's smart about it. There's nothing wrong with what she is doing. Don't worry about it.

[Diva2317]

also, if you are so worried about her having these pictures on the internet and up in public why did you post this picture on medhelp? These threads are not locked and now you made sure that ANYONE can see this picture. I would be furious if my mother posted picture of even me and my husband on a public forum, it's inappropriate.

[specialmom]

Oh, I don't think there is anything wrong with adults posting whatever they want on facebook.  I think sometimes kids don't make good decisions about it.  It just came back to haunt the daughter of a friend of mine.  I have a face book account and like to see the pictures of my family and friends going about their life-----  but some things that go on there are a bit much.  My niece showed me some pictures from her college friends at a party------  yikes.  So, I'm just saying that kids sometimes don't use the best judgement about what they put on there.  This picture wasn't bad whether it was two girls or two guys or a boy/girl---- I was just making a broader statement that I worry about what some people circulate.  And I probably would be ticked if my mom put that picture out there too.  Do I sound really old?  I'm not from the tech/ info era.  Oh well, just wanted to clarify.  

[jessicajoes]

no i wouldent mind if it was a boy as i had my first child at 15 and my first kiss at about 11 i dont mind its just a bit shocking and im not botherd about her putting it on facebook i just wanted to no if it is normal

[specialmom]

I will say that it seems like a trend for girls to do these things now.  So I guess it is pretty normal these days.  I'd still talk to her about it all as it is good to keep that communication door open.  Good luck.  

[k81990]

woww, its totally fine. its THEIR choice, they can do what they wish, because no mattter what you say your kids gonna kiss who they wish. remember you others; there are ANTI-HATE laws, so watch what you say about gays and lesbians.

[specialmom]

No one said one word that was hateful.  I think this was more about mother daughter interaction and that improving communication is always a good thing.  Her daughter is 14.  Lighten up.  

[ashebs]

i remember that age and guess what i also remember kissing girls and no im not gay or bi sexual, its just one of those learning things another thing is she could be doing it to grab a boys attention.....just talk to her about it and don't get offended if she fobs you off shes at the age of im miss independent. its ok your daughter is normal for her age we all experiment in our own way and time.

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree with those who say, if she's doing it for fun it is nothing to think twice about (except for the public-exposure angle, which I would talk to her about) and if she's doing it because she's a lesbian there is nothing you can do to change that fact.  Lesbians and gays are born, not made.  It is as "normal" for a gay person to be gay as it is for a straight person to be straight.