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just turned 3 year old behavior

I think my 3 yr old may have some kind of social anxiety. He will get angry and frustrated very quickly if he feels crowded or even if somebody says hello to him he will turn away with an angry face. His speech and everything else is fine, its just this behavior thats not 'normal'..I get the impression that he wants to be confident,as hes fine when  he's with me and his siblings, but when he thinks others are watching him he gets angry and withdraws in himself. He doesn't like to center of attention.I dont know if this is something that he will grow out of or not, its just a nightmare every morning when we go to school to drop his brother and sister off, as soon as we get in the school gate he puts on a moody face, gets angry in the class room if any one talks to him shouts if anyone accidentaly brushes past him....i just dont know what to do to help him, he will start nursery himself next September
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Avatar universal
I suspect you are dealing with social anxiety (but hopefully not social anxiety disorder which is a more severe form of anxiety).  Selective mutism is one of the behaviours of severe anxiety and from what you have written it is possible your son is selectively mute (but if so, it is very mild).  You might wish to educate yourself on this issue by googling phrases as "social anxiety and young children" or "how to help your anxious child" or similar words/phrases.  The best site on the internet for information re selective mutism is "selectivemutism.org" where I might suggest you begin reading the FAQ's.  Children who suffer from severe anxiety usually have issues with sensory, sleeping, toileting, social, eating and learning.

For the time being, the best thing you can do is to over-socialize him but not "pressure" him in these situations.  Take him to the mall, the park, McDonald's, the grocery store, walks around the neighbourhood, visits to relatives and friends, supervise playdates, attend church, etc.  In "plain" language, your son is "afraid of people" and the way to handle this irrational fear is to desensitize him.  This form of "intervention" can take a long time (and I'm talking years, not weeks or months).  But, there's lots of books on the internet or in the bookstore or in your public library re this topic for assistance.  The key is to not force him in social situations; just introduce him to lots and lots of opportunities to be around people (and if he hides behind you, at first, that is O.K.).  

As margpops stated, shyness in children lessens as they get older.  This is because the child has learned how to deal and manage his fears; the child doesn't outgrow it nor does it go away.  But, children with social anxiety may require help in learning how to "manage" his fears and that is where shyness differs from anxiety.  Our child suffers from severe anxiety and was selectively mute for several years - today she is doing fine in high school.  Tiredbyhappy gave you many excellent suggestions on how to "desensitize" your son in social situations.  If you have any questions, please write.  All the best ....
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171768 tn?1324230099
Have you read up on selective mutism? It is a form of anxiety. I would not be surprised if his anxiety manifests itself in this form when he starts nursery. Or, he may turn aggressive to others instead. Read up on it and see if it matches him. In the mean time, have you tried introducing him to other children in a quieter setting? Perhaps a storytime at the local library, or at small playgroups. Just to build up his comfort level. The other thing you can start doing is offering him altrenative but more acceptable ways to behave when he becomes overwhelmed. Tell him that it's OK if he is feeling too shy to say hello. He can wave or smile instead. When in these situations, give him extra support while he builds confidence. Squeeze his hand, give secret thumbs up, etc, when you see he is getting anxious or if you see him respond appropriately. Don't make a big deal out of his reactions- just tell him simply that he doesn't have to say hi, but he cannot shout at people.
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535822 tn?1443976780
I have seen children like this ...we used to call it shyness, and as they got older it lessened .Many don't like crowds they feel out of their depth. Maybe a good idea to let him be like that less words about it, if it doesn't get attention he may simply be himself shy or not ....If you see he has a 'moody' face make no comment let him feel like that ..
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Avatar universal
his brother and sister(8 and 6) are fine towards him, they all play well together, he's very confident around us at home, its just around other people he clams up and gets annoyed that they've spoken to him (unless he initiated the conversation, then he's comfortable talking. He seems to get embarrassed quickly if all the attention is on him, then he doesnt want to talk.
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
may I ask how the other children behave towards him, are they older children do they treat him well or could he be reacting to some behavior they display ?
Helpful - 0
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