late night raidings

I have three sons pretty close in age. They all three wait until after everyone goes to bed and get into the fridge or cupboards to get at foods that they know they could have if only they asked. They often don't eat the food but hide it until I trace the bad smell to their room. They also take sodas from the fridge knowing that when I make breakfast in the morning I am going to notice it missing. No punishment seems to discourage them. Help!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Ladylauraj,

Depending on the ages of your children, this sort of behavior can be more or less worrisome. If the children are very young, they may be experiencing some sense of withholding or perceived deprivation which you certainly don't intend or observe directly. If the children are older, in their teens, such behavior might well not carry such connotations. It's hard to say precisely what is occurring, but something is amiss in the family climate for this to be occurring. If you'll send along a bit more information, I'll try to respond further.

[ladylauraj]

The ages are 11,10 & 7. This has been an ongoing problem for me and I am at my wits end. My husband is in the military and can be away for long periods. Could this be a factor?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Ladylauraj,

Nighttime shananigans on the parts of such young children should be regarded as signs of unrest. At their ages, children normally are fast asleep pretty soon after going to bed. The fact that the kids are up and around is worrisome. Their father's absence is undoubtedly a factor in the situation, if only for the fact that you and the children are without his presence and support while he is away. It would make sense to speak with a mental health professional for evaluation and planning.