living wih out my baby girl

Hi , My name is Jeremy
And I have a little girl who is now 1.3 months old. Her mother and I have split. She has moved very far away and im battleing for her to alow me to see my child.
There was no abous or anything like that, it was just one of those things where we could not see eye to eye.
My child and I have a very strong bound, well at least we did. If you looked at her you could see that she loves her daddy, How ever now that she is nolonger in my life , I need to know how will this effect her? When the day comes and I get to see her again, will I be a stranger to her? Will I have to prove myself agian, to get that trust that Daddy is here and i am safe no matter what happens.
My X told me in frunt of a family advicat that I could have her for the october month, now she says she can not do that because it is not good for babby to be away from mommy for so long. is this true? Please can you reply to this so that I can put it to rest if she is right. I dont want to fight with because I want to keep a good note with the mom, but if she cant let go for her own selfish needs then I will fight for my child. what must I do?

[iris986]

The baby is too young to be away from mom at this stage, it is better that you go and visit the child until the child reaches one years old.

[margypops]

I am sorry you dont see your child it is very hard, I do agree with Iris, children of this age should have mom around   but I think you would see more of her if you move nearer to them,if you get on with mom you may get to see her every week and as she gets older spend more time with you ,its hard but it will get better .Good luck

[public]

The thing is She is just over a year. she is 14 months. i DO understand that she needs her mom, I have no problem with that.I cant move closer, I have a bussnis on this side, But ok There are long weekends and school holidays., but what I want to know is? is it ok to have my girl for 3weeks. this is the debait. My x said yes I can to the fam advict, now she says no, its not good for her to be away for so long. Is this true. I have had her for a week befor more than once and things where good, she was happy to be with Daddy. So what is another 2weeks.?

[iris986]

As long as she is over a year old it is fine to keep her for 3 weeks.

My son has a 3 year old daughter that stays with him for weeks at a time. After the baby turned a year old, she switches off with her parents and they live states apart and it hasn't hurt her one bit.

[public]

Thanks very much for reply.
I happy to hear that, I miss her so much. But cool , I am trying to get her mom to change her mind with out the fight of couse, not easy. But hopefully she will. I have told her about this site and said she shoud see it for her self..
Again thank you.

[margypops]

I say no unitil she is older, more than one year old,  all she will do is cry all the time ,she has lived with her mom, do you not see that this could be upsetting.. I actually wouldnt let a small child leave its mom for thats long ...your ex is right not to allow it ..All you will achieve is that she will be upset each time she sees you knowing you are taking her away, you dont see her each day do you ..can you imagine in her head how it would feel, walk in her shoes

[margypops]

And I do Jeremy, see your point oif view and I do know you miss her, but till she is older put her needs before your own ...good luck you sound like one great Dad this is one of the miseries of divorce or splitting up ...

[iris986]

To solve the issue that "Margypops" has brought up, go and stay in a hotel for a couple of nights near where the mother lives and spend time with your daughter so that she sees you around everyday.

[public]

thanks for mail. It did upset me to read, so I went out for coffie and had a think about it.
K now im back and I can reply.
My babby does not cry when she is with me, that is the Gods honest truth.
and 2. you can never ask anyone to try and walk in someone elss shoes.
1. there is no suchthing as try. you ither do it or you dont.
2. the shoe will never be the same for you.
The reason Im emailing you bunch, is because im keeping a open mind so that I can do what is best for Amber. I have also read that when a child is taken away from thier father, they will look els where for that male figger.
How would it be if your child Margypops had to look at another woman for that suport that you are supose to give.
I can tell you right now you will not like it nor will you stand for it.
However again laidys, Thank you for the replys. I mite not like everything that you say, but I will keep a open mind about it.
I must also just say that I have full custerdy over my child , but because I know that she needs here mom, I have aloud her to stay with mommy. Mommy does not have full custerdy, Only legal gardeanship.

[margypops]

I am so sorry I know its so hurtful and I can tell you are missing her and a good  Dad I know our words hurt you. You say she doesnt cry when with you so she is used to you, that does help, and you now tell us you have full custody we werent aware of, I have changed my mind somewhat  as I didnt have a full picture, really the Mom has kept her too long so maybe you will have to ask a court to solve it for you, take it further see if you can get her to change her mind. You sound like one great Dad shes a lucky baby ...

[margypops]

As She gets older three weeks is okay and if she is happy with youand knows you well , I do think that Mom should rethink her attitude ..when I posted my first commnent I didnt know the facts ..

[public]

Thanks. Im glad you sent me the first reply. So please dont feel bad. Its good to hear things you dont wantto hear. But for me the thing is I can take her to court or I can just go and pic her up, There is nothing stoping me from doing that, But my heart tells me other wise. As you all say, She needs her mom and I dont want to be the one to take her away from that. It would not sit right for me and it will leave a bad taist for mom and me,
Maybe because deep inside I want mom to come home to.Well not maybe I do.
But ya, I just want to know how would this be foe baby, I dont want to upset her as you said, could happen every time I go for her., But only God can shine some light on this for us.
Thanks
Jeremy