materbation

[concerned mom 1]

I am a single mom of a 4 year old. His father isn't a part of our lives. In the past 3 months, he has began to reach into his pants and pull up his penis. He says he is adjusting it to make it comfortable. At first I didn't think much, but now it is becoming more frequent and embarrasing when we are out. When he is naked he plays too. I have tried to talk to him, telling him it is rude and unacceptable,and threatened to spank. He then took it farther and would put his hand to his face and mouth after doing it. I am not sure if it is being rebellious or a serious problem. His moods have changed lately too. He has become more "hyper". Do you think this could be physical or psychological? Get medical help? Discipline? Or simply give him more attention??????????  I haven't dated in almost 2 years so he hasn't been exposed to many men. Well none at home. I want what is best for him.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Establish a very firm limit with your son: he can touch his penis only when he is alone in the privacy of his room. He is not to do this in your presence or in the presence of anyone else. There's no need to punish him - rather, be firm about the limit. There's likely nothing amiss medically, but have his pediatrician examine him so that you can be sure you're not overlooking anything. Be sure he is receiving sufficient opportunities to engage with peers and participate in age-typical play opportunities. If he attends nursery school or some other form of pre-school arrangement, check with the staff to see what they are observing. Nothin in your note indicates the need right now for professional intervention, but if his mood and/or behavior deteriorates, have him evaluated by a pediatruic mental health professional (clinical psychologist, psychiatric social worker).

[LittleMar19]

I dont think you should threaten to spank him. Like the doctor said make sure he does it in a private place and not in public areas. Its perfectly normal for a child to do that.

[Nikki77]

Masterbation, no I doubt it.  Not for his age.  I think it is just that he is becoming aware of his body.  He is starting to feel differently.  Teach him manners by telling him that what he is doing is fine but to go to the bathroom or into an empty room to adjust himself.  Tell him that you understand he is going through changes but that other men His father, brothers, grandpa, friends, don't do this because it is rude and unbecoming.  
Nikki