meeting dad

Hi my son is 3 years old and his father has now decided to come on the scene. What i am wanting help with is how to approch this with my son. i am wanting to talk to him first about everything so he is not just thrown in at the deep end with it all. Are there any good childrens book out their that can help with him understanding everything.Thankyou

[elmo607]

there are books out there go to the library and search teh kids section. we found a lot of kids books about life experiences just for kids to understand. i found it easy  when trying to explain something importnat to a toddler use things they like. when we were explaining a new baby one the way to our 4yr old we used sesame street movie where baby bear was expecting a new sibling. another thing just sit and use words he understands but be honest with him. i dont know the situation between us and ex but dont be mean about it just be honest with him. just cuz he is 3 doesnt mean he wouldnt understand. we had to explain alot of situations to our now 6yr old and they suprise you. you could start out telling you love him and that will never change. and then go on saying something about you know that your grandpa is my daddy well you have a daddy to and he is ready to come and visit you. how do you feel about that? and just keep it simple. hope it works out for yous. hope this helps some. good luck. as long as you act like your ok with it then he will be ok with it.

[margypops]

At 3 year old it may be best not to over do the talking about it ,and do you think a book at his age will be understood, tell him he's meeting his Dad and be up beat ,no negative words. Let them work it out them selves .sometimes a lot of words dont help especially in one so young.It sounds great, children do better when they have 2 parents in their lives Good Luck

[adgal]

I agree with Margy on this one.  I wouldn't make it too big a deal and let your son take the lead in how much time he wants to spend with him right now.  Also, I would keep the first meetings with you there.  It can be scary for a young one to all of a sudden be left alone with someone that is a stranger.  I also agree with keeping it positive and not showing any nervousness on your part.  He will be watching for your cues.  Don't force it and make sure his dad is willing to take this slow.  It is a good thing if he is going to be a permanent part of your sons life and I would talk to him about that up front.  If he isn't planning on maintaining the relationship, it can do more harm then good.  Good luck to you.

[shelleval]

Thankyou everyone. So far everything between his dad and i are fine. He is not a bad man just been a bit of an idiot. My son at 3 has a very good grasp on things i was hopeing that i could do this in a simple way but just need to get the ball rolling and was looking for a simple story to start the conversation off about him going to meet him. Fingers crossed xx