middle child has problems with older brother

[mitsukero]

I have three sons, ages 6, 8 and 12.  My 8 year old continues to have behavioral problems because of the 12 year old. He only wants to play with the 12 year when actually he has more in common and closer in age to the 6 year old. But even when he gets his way he quickly is miserable. He always complains that the 12 year is cheating, playing too rough, won't play the games he wants to play. So the 12 year old just quits which makes the 8 year old crazy...pouting, stomping away, tattling etc. This is begining to be a problem with others too...he feels left out when the 12 year old has more friends or is having more fun. The 12 year old seems to be more easy going so he has more friends at school, more friends in the neighborhood, closer relationship with cousins and this just causes instant problems with the 8 year old.(its too bad that he doesn't realize that it is because he quits everything and whines or tattles) Before we even leave the house he is complaining about going to a family party, neighborhood party or family friends.  BUT the part that throws everything off is that when he is with his friends from school he is great---well liked, a joy to be around, laid back. Our family members always want the 8year to come over and play and always talk about how much fun he can be.  So I know he has it in him...I just do not know how to stop the behavior as it relates to the older brother.  Any suggestions?

[margypops]

Have you checked to be certain that the older Boy isnt teasing or making the8year old act up, this happens a lot and Family dont always see it, he could be a bit jealous of the older son aswell. Try not to make a big deal of it, if he moans at going to visit ,ignore it let it all just go away, the more that is made of a situation the more it blows out of proportion,As there is no problem at school that tells you its from home be aware of what is happening to upset him, maybe seperate them a bit if you can and make sure your time is spent equally with them, is there a Dad can do things with the Guys some Sport etc get the Guys involved.