my 2 year old daughter

I am wanting to know if what my 2 year old daughter does is normal.  I have a mild form of OCD and worry I have passed this on to my kids.  My 2 year old daughter especially shows some signs.  She has always been strong willed and stubborn. But lately we have really been noticing some little quirks that have raised red flags in my head.  She for example seems to HAVE to stop and put both feet on the strips in our doorways. she will walk from our bedroom stop in the doorway and position both feet on the strip and then step off and walk across the hallway only to stop 3 feet later on the strip in her bedroom door. She will do this every single time she crosses a doorway.  I have also noticed that she will sometimes be playing and will NOT use her fingers. She will have her hands in a fist and will pick up her toys this way and gets very angry if she can't get something in her hands she wants. We tell her to use her fingers and she has a meltdown!  She also has been refusing hugs sometimes and then other times won't stop hugging us. Tonight at bedtime she would not stop kissing me. She kissed me like 10 times in a row and still would not settle down to sleep. She was obviously tired as she could hardly hold her eyes open. I finally just told her I love her and left the room. She threw a tantrum and was out in less than 3 minutes.  She went through a stage she refused to wear blanket sleepers. She would strip them off. She sometimes is very obsessive about which potty she will use when potty trainig but then stopped training all together and refuses to wear certain diapers. My husband broke down and bought her Blues Clues diapers (luvs)  she still asks for Elmo diapers (Pampers) but we tell her no and she settles for Blues CLues.  When I bought her some off brand trainig pants they had little girls on them She refused and I mean refused to wear the ones that only had 1 girl on them She wanted the ones that had 2 girls. This was only half the package. I finally tricked her into wearing the rest but went back to diapers as she was no longer interested in potty training.  My biggest concern is for her safety. She has recently become picky about her carseat. She will NOT leave the chest clip up on her chest. She pushes it down and will kick and scream if any of us put it back up. she will not leave it up. It is not too tight. It still has room to put my entire hand in there.  But she just won't leave it up. This is a safety risk as she could be thrown from her seat if she does not have it on right! I don't know how to get her to leave it there.  She also has been getting extremely frustrated with her brother (he's 4).  If she is playing with something and he even just looks at it she has a melt down. if he asks to play with her she throws a fit and hits or pinches him.  She once threw a metal truck at his head because it was in the chair she wanted to sit in.  I fear for him as well as for her because he has begun hitting back and he is not a small boy. He is 95 % for his age and she is 25% for hers. Their is a size difference. I also worry about my newborn. These behaviors started before we even knew I was pregnant.  So I don't think its all because of the baby. SHe just has gotten worse over the last month since the baby has been born.  I could go on and on all night but its late and I must get to bed. Please if anyone could help me help my daughter let me know. She is a beautiful little girl. Some people say its because she is red headed but some of her little quirks are more than just anger and that is what has me worried. Why the hands thing and why the stop in the doorways?  Thanks in advance.

[jdtm]

OCD is an anxiety disorder.  Anxiety is an inherited trait.  It is highly likely that some of your children will inherit some form of anxiety.  Perhaps you should contact your pediatrician for more information and advice re anxiety.  And yes, one can notice traits at birth.  Many of the behaviours you are describing are those of anxiety but you will need confirmation from your doctor.  Two points - children do not outgrow anxiety nor will it go away but anxiety is highly treatable and manageable.  The second - the earlier the diagnosis; the better the prognosis.  I wish you the best ....

[RockRose]

The only behavior,  out of ALL of them (and there are a lot!) that truly points directly at OCD is her problem with doorways.  That's classic OCD.  Rituals entering and exiting doorways point directly at OCD - where the rest,  taken alone,  could look like extreme controlling/manipulative behavior.

I agree with jd.  Get her to the doc - the sooner the therapy,  the better,  if she needs therapy.

[margypops]

If she has recently had a new sibling may I suggest you try giving her more attention as more often than not Behavioral issues pop up when a new Baby arrives , I note you said you had noticed it 'lately'Most of what you describe could be put down to old fashioned Jealousy , before big evaluations how about you give her one to one attention, and lots of Games and Fun  so she doesnt feel left out ,With some of the behavior patterns have you particularly made any fuss about them that she could have picked up on and decided it gets her a lot of attention so she does it more, check these things out ,then go for Help if you have to , however go online and make sure you know what form the help will take.

[blessedmomof3]

The stopping in the doorway is something I have seen lots of little 2 kids do. It's a game. I worry about the hands thing, but then being the terrible 2s, it could all jsut be a phase. I would take her to a DR if you are concerned, or you can wait and see if she out grows it, but that could take a while.

[Muffy1521]

Hi there, it sounds like you have your hands full! especially with the redhead....lol. I have one myself and she is sure different from my son who is NOT red.
I'm not sure about her behaviour issues, but I think you should know about the chest clip issue. It should be tight enough that only one of your fingers can fit in there(not a fist)
AND... my daughter does the same thing with the clip. she will always move it down because she knows darn well, it has to be UP! you have to stand your ground and just say that you're not moving the car, or pull over until it's fixed. OR I've even taken my daughter out of her seat and back into the house until she's ready to put her seatbelt on properly. It takes time and effort. But, you are the boss. and safety is not a choice!